Periods deemed unpalatable by the minority

IRARELY watch ‘regular’ television; live sport, the odd edition of Prime Time, and maybe one of those tea time quizzes if I require some background noise. But every evening, without fail, I put on the news at six. I’ll already know what the headlines are, will have read about them throughout the day, but I like to check in, see what Catriona makes of it all.

And it was during, or rather between, an instalment of Six One that I first saw the 30 second commercial which would eventually become a news item in of itself.

Yes, it was the Tampax ad, the one which has subsequently been taken off the airwaves due to the nature of its content; the one which advises woman to correctly insert tampons when they’re menstruating, or ‘get ‘em up there, girls’ as the actress so eloquently puts it.

The timing wasn’t ideal - I was eating my dinner after all - but aside from a quizzical eyebrow and a shrug of the shoulders, it didn’t particularly phase me. If that’s how you’re supposed to put them in it only seems fair everyone know about it.

Some argued the message could have been communicated with a little less fanfare. Yet some would also have complained if the instructions had been relayed in a clinical, detached fashion; complete with diagrams and a health warning at the end.

As it was, 84 people felt the need to voice their disgust to the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), describing it as ‘crude’, ‘provocative’ and ‘suggestive’. And the advert was banned.

Now everyone wants to see it; women, men, boys, girls, people with vaginas, people without. It’s become notorious, been afforded a level of publicity its creators could never have envisaged.

And now we all know women have to push their tampons right in or they won’t do the job they’re intended for. So really, it’s a win-win for all concerned.

Well, not quite. Because the end result is a victory for the stuffy, austere values of ye olde Ireland, an unwelcome reminder that despite repealing the eighth, legalising gay marriage, and being one of the world’s most progressive nations, we still can’t shake off the past, that era when sex was shameful and babies arrived via a smiling, overworked stork.

Let’s start with the number of complaints: 84. If a candidate received that many votes in a local election they wouldn’t even bother turning up at the count centre, would go into hiding for the next year.

But when it comes to being offended by educational advertising the minority, it seems, have all the power. The opinions of those 84 people outweighed those of the other 4.9 million people in this country; the sane, the disinterested and the ones who have more important things to be doing with their time.

According to the ASA most ‘controversial’ adverts receive but a handful of complaints, and 84 represents the highest of the year so far. Yeah, I’d say their phonelines were fairly hopping alright.

Let’s try not to get too hung up on the figure though. The biggest issue here is the message this sends out to those for whom the advert was intended. Young women, girls; those like the lady in the advert who meekly raises her hand when asked whether she ‘feels her tampon’.

I’m no expert, but I would wager this ad has proven beneficial for at least 85 women, probably a lot more.

But now all of those women are being told, reminded indeed, that their bodies, and in particular, one bodily function, is rather unpalatable, not the kind of thing which should be discussed on national television, or anywhere at all if it can be helped.

No, this is something for the classroom, for teachers to grit their teeth through, girls to shy away from - and heaven forbid anyone bridge the gap and try and speak to young women in a language they might understand. Of course the ultimate irony is that teenage girls, young women, watch even less ‘regular’ television than I do. The ASA, the 84 complainees, and you and I are much the same to them; a complete irrelevance. What advertising they are exposed to comes courtesy of social media sites, specially tailored content designed for their needs. They most likely knew how to insert tampons already, and are laughing at all us old fogeys for getting worked up about nothing.