Respecting women
Dear Editor,
My parents were born in 1920 in Galway. My mother gave birth to 14 children.
She died suddenly when I was six years old.
The youngest of the family was 16 months.
We were “lucky” we were not placed in an orphanage.
The same ‘good fortune’ did not apply to my mother’s siblings.
Four of her sisters and two of her brothers were placed in orphanages in Galway when their mother died.
They committed no crime. They were poor and powerless. At that time fathers were often deemed incapable of raising children alone.
My mother’s siblings grew up in a cruel, cold catholic institution that shamed them to their core.
They carried this shame to their graves.
The deafening silence that existed for decades about their treatment echoes the “shameful” silence imposed on women who have been forced to travel to the UK for a termination.
My first cousin, Margaret Mary O’Connor, was born in the Tuam Mother and Baby Home in December 1942.
She died in that awful place at six months old and was ‘disposed of ’ in the septic tank with hundreds of other babies.
Her mother Maggie, who had been raised in St Anne’s Orphanage, Galway, was sent after the birth to work in St. Brigid’s Industrial School in Loughrea, to pay off her debt for the so-called care she had received.
The pain of my family of origin has seeped into my soul and has altered how I look at the world.
This county has never been safe for women, particularly poor women.
It degrades, neglects, mistreats and demoralises us.
The clerical, political, medical and educational establishment created a toxic culture that kept women in a subservient position for decades.
They have excelled in brainwashing and moulding a submissive, obedient culture.
This culture has ensured that we have created a society lacking in empathy.
We have been taught well “to turn our faces away” and deny our painful realities.
It has harassed and abused women for generations. They have drenched our DNA in shame.
For years it has been a crime to conceive out of wedlock.
Control has always been exercised to keep vulnerable and powerless women in their place. Few spoke up to defend them.
The 8th Amendment criminalises women who take abortion pills in Ireland.
The reality is, that thousands travel to the UK for a termination every year.
It is utter hypocrisy to compel women to travel to the UK for a termination and deem this an acceptable solution.
I have raised my daughters to be independent, confident women who can make safe, sensible decisions concerning their health.
This is their human right. I do not wish them to be forced to continue with a pregnancy against their will.
My job as a doctor is to listen and heal and give hope. I do not stand in another woman’s shoes.
I do not know her story. I have not lived her life. I have not been through her pain.
I have no right to condemn or judge any woman who chooses a termination if that is her decision.
My hope is for women, all women, to live in a country where they are respected.
Having control over one’s body is of paramount importance in establishing that respect.