The idea of going out on Christmas Eve makes me break out in a rash

I’M officially DONE now! I’ve spent all my money, bought all my presents, filled the cupboards with festive food and drink. There is nothing else I can do, bar put my feet up and give thanks to the baby Jesus for creating a day for us to celebrate his birthday that we will be paying back for the rest of the year!

Yes I am sounding a bit Bah Humbug but I can’t help it. There is just so much pressure to spend money we don’t have, buy presents for people we don’t even like (anyone reading this who got a present from me – I DO like you, really!!), go out and drink ourselves silly for no other reason than the fact it’s Christmas.

I always feel a bit edgy about Christmas nights out. It all seems slightly forced. You don your Christmas jumper, head to a pub full of people p****d as farts and knock back shots while kissing strangers and singing ‘Do they know it’s Christmas time at all.’

And you know when you bump into people you haven’t seen in ages and you feel you have to hug each other, compliment each other effusively and have the chats? There’s a reason why you don’t stay in touch!

It is possible I am finally growing up! The idea of going to a pub on Christmas eve... or Stephen’s Night makes me break out in a rash! Don’t worry, I haven’t taken the pledge. There will be alcohol consumed and maybe even singing but it will most likely take place in front of the fire, whilst wearing pyjamas, surrounded by a select few. Myself and The Eldest have even learnt a duet to entertain the masses. Our version of ‘Yesterday’, he maintains it is so bad, it’s good.

That’s if anyone is still talking to me. Himself has the hump with me because I ordered a ham from the butcher but asked him to cook it for me. Apparently that’s cheating. No it’s not! That’s called delegation!

And as if that wasn’t bad enough, I also bought brussel sprouts that you bung in the microwave and my parnsips are already prepped and ready to shove in the oven. This too apparently is cheating! The fact that he doesn’t eat any bloody veg is neither here nor there. Just as well I didn’t order the pre-cooked turkey too!

All the money I shaved off the food budget I invested in a couple of bottles of champagne that I have hidden in the back of the fridge behind said Brussel sprouts and parsnips. I am willing to share if he admits he was wrong. It is very likely he won’t be drinking bubbles on Christmas Day!

And so all that is left for me to say is Merry Christmas to you and yours. Wishing you all peace and happiness for 2019.

See you on the other side!

THERE WILL BE ALCOHOL CONSUMED BUT IT WILL MOST LIKELY TAKE PLACE IN FRONT OF THE FIRE, SURROUNDED BY A SELECT FEW