Wonderland
THE BARE birches in the wood tower above her, branches softly sway. It is silent, tranquil, away from society. Snow falls steadily around her as she walks. It is cold, soft, unchanging. Rhythmic in its fall. It melts as it lands on her bright red cheeks, her nose cold too. She catches sight of her breath swirling through the air, blending with the constant flow of snow and the blue-grey sky. Her breathing causes the cold air to catch in the back of her throat. Her hands numb, her fingertips almost turning blue. The skin pale, clean, unbroken. She twirls a green strip of flesh from a birch tree between her fingers; over and back, over and back, in figures of eight. The waxy texture of the young tree grazes her bare skin. A robin on a branch makes her pause, her twirling stopping momentarily. She makes eye contact with the little bird who tilts his head at the interaction. He chirps and in a quick flurry of brown feather, flits to a higher branch.
She resumes her twirling and looks down to her scarlet boots. They are shiny and bright compared to the terrain around her. The boots leave patterned marks in the snow. Her attention is brought to a knocking in the distance, a woodpecker. Its knocking making a beat of its own. A small creek leaves a steady rushing sound around the wood. She’s calm, an atmosphere full of serenity around her.
The woodpecker’s knocking grows louder, disturbing her peaceful state of mind with this change. All noises seem to get louder and more rapid. Her pace quickens, heart beat escalates, pulse deafening in her ears. Everything around her seems to disappear. She feels herself slow again, as if she was being weighed down. She looks to the sky, holding on to the sight of the snow and trees around her for a moment longer. She takes a breath before glancing down, fearing the sight she knows will be there. She’s melting. Her scarlet boots now nothing but a puddle underneath her. Her eyes widen; she tenses as she feels herself sink lower and lower. She is now waist deep in this puddle of her. She reaches out, her hands having dropped the strip of birch, grasping at any roots and stones around her, desperate to stay here. Desperate for more time.
Her delicate nails break, soft skin tears and blood stains the once clean snow and ground around her.
The robin watches from a branch, chirping steadily. She’s now nothing but a puddle. The trees stay still, undisturbed by what has happened under their gaze. They’re calm, their branches softly sway. Snow falls steadily, melting in the warm, sticky puddle. It is cold, soft, unchanging. Rhythmic in its fall. The curly strip of birch tree now abandoned on the ground. The woodpecker falls silent. The air calm once again, full of serenity.
Her eyes barely open, they are dull, missing a spark of life. They’re still puffy from sleep, but have no trouble recognizing her home. A knocking from an apartment below shatters her sleep-drugged state of mind. Cars from the busy road outside her open window steadily rush to their destination. Her eyes focus on the black rings of mould on the ceiling for a few seconds. She turns to her night-stand; a rolledup bill and a line of fresh, powdery snow, waiting for its next opportunity to bring her back to the wood. Her hand reaches for a glass of water, she notes how broken her nails are, her bloody knuckles; dirty gashes and scars littering her rough hands.
She sits up, swings her feet onto the damp carpet by her bedside. It’s cold, a slight draft coming through her window.
She places the glass back down, stands, then shuffles across her creaky floorboards, not yet coming to her senses, dragging her feet, stumbling over a pile of clothes on the floor. The window is greasy; disgusted to touch it, she pulls her faded white shirt over her hand to close it. She pulls the window closed and with one look at the polluted city below her, all that could be heard from her room is the shutters closing loudly. Outside, snow is falling, it is cold, soft, constantly changing. No rhythm to its fall, the wind causing a turbulent wonderland outside.