Moyra’s courageous strength carried family in tough times
THERE WAS great sadness at the loss of Helen Moyra Potter, who passed away at the age of 88 on January 5.
The daughter of Raymie and Mary-Ellen Doyle, Moyra was born on Wednesday, October 1, 1930 in the village of Broadway. Her parents were the village publican and grocers and she was the oldest of five, followed by Gay (Morrissey), Ray, Leo and Donald. The Doyles, then and now, were farmers caring for the land or working in some profession involved in caring for the community.
Helen and Moyra are Greek names, meaning ‘shining light’ and ‘destiny’. Like her famous forebear of Troy, Moyra lived in the experience of different cultures and different polarities.
The family acquired the ‘sea farm’ at Ballygara in Carne in the 1940s while continuing the village business. Moyra went to primary school in Broadway and then to Loreto Bray where she was a keen hockey player.
A tragic tractor accident took her father when she was 16 and her brother remembered their mother sitting them down to say: ‘You must all know, I am there for you now’. She was the rock in their lives and instilled this quality in Moyra.
After school, Moyra went to work in the National Bank branch in Baggot Street in Dublin where, as she used to say, she counted the elastic bands.
Her love of music (she was a passable pianist) brought friends and a rich cultural life.
At 24, she met Donnie Potter, her life partner. They shared a love of classical music and opera. To the polarity of the city-country was added that of an inter-church marriage - no easy task in Ireland in 1955 and it took two years to get an imprimatur and a secreted vestry wedding.
Five children brought years of home-making, supporting Donnie with his business and voluntary work with the Dublin Grand Opera Society, of which he was treasurer and, later, chairman. Moyra was secretary of the ladies’ committee and a diligent fundraiser and organiser.
The children would arrive home from school to hear her piano-playing. She was an incorrigible ‘hockey mum’ to Val and Jacqui, the latter who excelled in the Irish squad.
Moyra’s courageous strength, like her mother’s, carried the family and business through a difficult year of Donnie’s illness in 1963, after which she reconnected strongly to South Wexford. With a small inheritance, she and Donnie renovated the ruined mill tower in 1967 at Ballyfane and spent their summers in Carne. She was well known for managing the summer season chipper in Carne in the evenings.
Moyra and Donnie were great travellers, especially to Italy and later with their organised opera trips around the world.
A balance to this was her ability to connect to people individually, especially in the locality: greeting newcomers to the parish; inviting guests from St Vincent de Paul’s Carne holiday centre to tea at the Millhouse; turning up at Camphill centre with a measuring tape and swatches to curtain a new house; hosting innumerable friends of the children and their circle of friends who were affectionately known as ‘rent a crowd’.
Tragedy struck again with the sudden death of her daughter Jacqui in 2000. Soon after, she and Donnie sold up and retired to Carne.
Most memorable was their 50th wedding anniversary service in 2005 at St Iberius Church in Wexford town where the con-celebrants, Rector Maria Jansen and Fr Jim Fegan PP apologised to them for the pain they were caused by the respective churches. It was a moment that was witnessed and appreciated by a number of inter-church families.
Moyra became more forgetful from 2011 and, by 2015, clearly had Alzheimer’s. Donnie faithfully carried the household for her. With family and her carers’ devoted help, she was able to remain in her home until her death.
Moyra’s quiet acceptance of her destiny was a shining light. Her generosity and reflection enabled her to grow a deeper understanding of others and of the world. She was amiable, deeply and warmly connecting to individuals and not to groups or crowds, in which she was shy.
Like Wednesday’s child, she was mercurial, a weaver of people. Caring for her was met with a quietly deep gratitude and she continued to acknowledge Donnie and her carers daily.
Two memorable recent outings were to her niece Sue for lunch at Mary Barry’s, and for Christmas in Ballytory for the extended family gathering.
Moyra died peacefully on the morning of January 5 with her son John and carer Rosie present. A good life completes what one is given and she worked for that every day.
Moyra is survived by her husband Donnie, brother Donald, sons Alan, Derek and John, daughter Valerie (Doyle), eleven grandchildren, one great-grandchild, and many nieces and nephews.