Retro top ten
THIS WEEK IN 1980
1 Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide Is Painless) The Mash 2 No Doubt About It Hot Chocolate
3 What’s Another Year Johnny Logan
4 She’s Out Of My Life Michael Jackson
5 We Are Glass Gary Numan
6 Over You Roxy Music
7 Mirror In The Bathroom The Beat
8 Rat Race/Rude Boys Outa Jail The Specials
9 Funkytown Lipps Inc
10 Geno Dexy’s Midnight Runners
A song commissioned to be ‘the stupidest song every written’ was sitting on the top of the pop charts this week 40 years ago.
‘Suicide Is Painless’ would probably not be acceptable today, but back in 1970 it was chosen as the theme tune to the movie comedy ‘M*A*S*H’ and then released as a single. Ten years later it belatedly reached the top of the UK (and Irish) charts after being championed by BBC Radio 1 DJ Noel Edmunds.
Once described by Mailyn Manson as the most depressing song ever written, the M*A*S*H theme’s origins are hard to believe.
Noted composer Jonny Mandel wrote the tune but the lyrics were problematic as film director Robert Altman stipulated it had to be
‘the stupidest song ever written’.
Altman tried to write the lyrics himself but failed. He recalled telling Mandel: ‘There’s too much stuff in this 45-year old brain of mine. I can’t get anything nearly as stupid as I need. But all is not lost. I have this kid who is a total idiot. He’ll run through this thing like a dose of salts.’
Altman’s 14-year-old son was asked to write the lyrics and reportedly did so in ten minutes. In subsequent years the ‘total idiot’ earned some $2 million in royalties, although his father’s original assessment may not have been far off the mark. He squandered most of the money and ending up declaring bankrupcy.
Robert Altman, who died in 2006, bought the song for $30,000 after his son got into financial difficulty and royalties for this most stupid of songs continue to pour into the Altman estate.