The Jerusalem Post - The Jerusalem Post Magazine
Yad Labanim
Special interview with the CEO Rachel Lanyado
While the primary meaning of the Hebrew word ‘yad’ is hand, the word can also be translated as a memorial, or monument. Yad Labanim, the volunteer organization that since 1949 has united bereaved parents and siblings who have lost their loved ones who perished in the course of their IDF service, fulfills both meanings of the word. It indeed memorializes and commemorates Israel’s fallen heroes, but also provides a helping hand to their families, providing for their social, physical, and emotional needs. Rachel Lanyado, a native of Holon, who has worked with Yad Labanim for twenty-one years, and has served as director of the organization for
the past eleven years, understands and appreciates the importance of Yad Labanim from her own personal experience. “Wars, hostilities and terrorism – all have brought bereavement, which has knocked on almost every door in Israel. I myself know the pain, and it has touched me personally. My uncle, Nisim Zamir, was killed in April 1978 in the Second Lebanon War, in a battle with terrorists in southern Lebanon, while performing reserve duty.” Lanyado explains that previous generations didn’t speak about the loss of their loved ones. “We didn’t know what happened, and we didn’t see their pictures. Families and parents wanted to protect their children, so they didn’t expose them to this information. It was only when I began working for Yad Labanim that I learned about my uncle. Since that time, each Memorial Day, we speak of him, tell stories about his life, what he stood for, and what he accomplished.” Today, she explains, there is greater openness about bereavement and loss. The vast majority of bereaved families speak of their loss, and many families display photos and tell stories about fallen family members. Yad Labanim makes a special point of caring for surviving family members socially, physically, and economically. “It is our moral duty to care for the well-being of families whose bereavement and memory are such an integral part of their lives,” says Lanyado. From the moment that tragedy strikes, survivors must deal with the difficult, draining, and cruel reality of loss, which continues throughout their lives. Families preserve the memory of their loved ones in their hearts and carry their memories over time, trying to function in their daily lives. This is where Yad Labanim comes in, through commemorative events, as well as leisure activities for survivors, designed to support families to help them choose life, and live alongside their pain. Yad Labanim volunteers –bereaved relatives who have lost sons or daughters, or brothers or sisters in the course of their army service – participate in numerous projects designed to commemorate the fallen, including sports activities for youth, academic scholarships, religious initiatives, charitable projects, displays in public parks, support for lone soldiers and hundreds of other commemorative activities. All of these projects serve to strengthen society as a whole. Yad Labanim branches throughout Israel conducts activities and meetings for families of the bereaved. “The importance of these activities is enormous,” says Lanyado. “Apart from the creative and enriching activities in various fields such as sculpture, ceramics, and painting, these activities provide a basis for a supportive social gathering where members get to know each other, create friendships, and develop supportive networks.” Lanyado adds that for many families – especially for older people – these activities provide an opportunity for them to escape from their loneliness and improve their quality of life by being with others. Yad Labanim also conducts activities for home-bound family members, bringing activities directly to members’ homes, as frequently as twice a week. The organization also sponsors cultural events, tours, and vacations throughout the country for its members. An integral part of Yad Labanim’s activities is focused on strengthening the bond between bereaved families and the community at large. “It is important to establish a permanent connection between Israeli students and bereaved families, and these connections are beneficial both for students and for the families of the fallen. Teens will internalize values of commitment, helping others and getting
to know those who are different than themselves. The bereaved families will no longer feel alone, and through these encounters, will ensure that the contributions of their loved ones will never be forgotten.” Yad Labanim even extends its communal support for bereaved families to Jewish communities throughout the world. “In preparation for Memorial Day and Independence Day, we hold a joint values initiative with the Diaspora Ministry in which Jewish communities adopt bereaved families by perpetuating the memory of their loved ones,” says Lanyado. Israel’s Diaspora Ministry connects families to a student outside Israel who ‘adopts’ one of the fallen soldiers, and learns about his life, personality and values. The student lights a memorial candle in his memory and presents the fallen soldier’s story at his school. The venture commemorates the memory of the fallen and instills their legacy for students living in Jewish communities throughout the world. It has made a lasting impression on participants. Wrote one student, “We decided to learn about the life of Daniel Gomes, of blessed memory, in order to honor his memory. Despite the fact that we live thousands of miles away, we look at Israel as our home. Israel holds a special place in our hearts, and those who paid the ultimate price to defend the country will remain in our hearts forever.” The focus on remembering the fallen increases on Israel’s Memorial Day and Independence Day. Each year, on Memorial Day, members of Yad Labanim meet with Israel’s president at Bet HaNasi, the official presidential residence. The prime minister also meets with bereaved family members on that day to mark the solemnity of the day and remember those who fought but did not return. Memorial Day and Independence Day are particularly difficult times for bereaved families, and Yad Labanim plans and organizes trips abroad for these families, to help them recharge their batteries and strengthen and maintain togetherness. Yad Labanim is particularly aware of the difficulties that younger siblings face in dealing with the loss of a brother or sister serving in uniform. The loss of a ‘big brother’ not only affects them directly, but also affects the day to day functions of the home, which can never be the same after the death of their sibling. This year, Yad Labanim organized a special four-day camp for younger siblings ages 13 through 18 that was held over Hol Hamoed Sukkot. Over the four-day period, campers participated in workshops, tours and activities with the aim of building a common language and bridging communication between the various segments of the bereaved family and helping stabilize and empower the younger members of the family with a positive camping experience. During the period of the holidays, which is particularly difficult for bereaved families, Yad Labanim conducts special events and parties to raise the spirits of family members. Today, Yad Labanim boasts 64 branches throughout the country, and numbers 1,000 volunteers who assist bereaved family members of those who have fallen in the service of their country – Jews, Druze, Circassians, Bedouins, Moslems, and Christians alike. These volunteers, who themselves have lost sons or daughters, brothers or sisters in the course of their military service, best understand the needs of the families. Yad Labanim truly represents the bereaved parents and siblings of Israel’s fallen soldiers. “The families are dear to my heart,” says Rachel Lanyado, “and Yad Labanim is my second home. I thank our volunteers who work so very hard, and I pray that no more names will be added to our memorial walls. May the injured and missing return to their homes and their families.”