Presidential enough for you?
‘At the right time,” President Donald Trump said during his campaign for president, “I will be so presidential, you will be so bored.” That time appeared to come Tuesday, when the president – in his first address to Congress – “reached for poetry,” “adopted a statesmanlike cadence” and laid forth, through a tribute to a slain US soldier, “one of the most extraordinary moments you have ever seen in American politics,” causing the Dow Jones industrial average to soar. It wasn’t boring, per se, but pundits appeared to think it was “presidential.” Does being president automatically make one presidential, as Kellyanne Conway once claimed about the president-elect? Not quite. In an effort to echolocate a very low (The lowest! Failing! Sad!) bar, a quick look at “presidential” behavior, then and now: The old bar: Read speech from teleprompter before members of Congress without ad-libbing.
The new, Trumpian bar: Read speech from teleprompter before members of Congress without ad-libbing repeatedly about the flaws of the opposing candidate you beat nearly four months ago.
The old bar: Inspire viewers with oratorical flair.
The new bar: Prove capable of speaking for 60 minutes without throwing a temper tantrum and ranting about ratings, the failing New York Times, fake news or the size of your inaugural crowd. Bonus points: Refrain, for eight days, from tweeting in ALL CAPS.
The old bar: Promptly condemn bomb threats against Jewish Community Centers.
The new bar: Refrain, for 60 minutes, from suggesting people may be threatening to bomb their own JCCs.
The old bar: Invite special guests to sit with the first family as a way to draw attention to issues of social justice.
The new bar: Track down the tiny percentage of Americans whose family members were killed by unauthorized immigrants and parade them as poster children for the evils of immigration, despite study after study showing that immigrants actually commit crimes at lower rates than native-born Americans.
The old bar: Pay tribute to service members killed in the line of duty.
The new bar: Refrain from insulting family of service member killed in the line of duty, then humblebrag that late service member must be smiling down from heaven proudly because of the length of applause.
The old bar: Detail plan to demolish and destroy the Islamic State and combat terrorism.
The new bar: Proudly announce that you have directed the Department of Defense to “develop a plan to demolish and destroy ISIS,” as if that had never occurred to anyone before. Bonus points: Refrain from alluding to a terror attack that never happened.
The old bar: Weave in issues of racial equality and justice.
The new bar: Give a speech that is praised by former KKK grand wizard David Duke, but finally button your suit jacket.
The old bar: Nominate judges to Supreme Court whose interpretations of the Constitution you believe will strengthen democracy.
The new bar: Pat self on back for choosing a nominee who will “defend our Constitution,” which is his job description.
The old bar: Focus on big-tent items like national security, poverty and the economy.
The new bar: Declare that “time for small thinking is over” and “trivial fights” are “behind us” mere weeks after calling Meryl Streep “overrated” and unleashing a Twitter war with Arnold Schwarzenegger over the ratings for “The Celebrity Apprentice.”
The old bar: Be a man who leads and inspires the free world.
The new bar: Be a man who, at 70, reads a speech written by committee without stuttering or sniffing, and remains vertical for 60 minutes. Basically, be as good at playing the role of “president” as your average Florida dinner theater actor.
The old bar: Start national conversation about the direction of our country.
The new bar: Barely make it 24 hours into a news cycle before news of a speech is overtaken by the latest revelations of a Cabinet member’s communications with the Russians during your presidential campaign. (Note: This bar has not yet been cleared.)