Attendees at Tel Aviv famine conference complain of lack of lunch

A world conference on famine was attended by hundreds yesterday in Tel Aviv. However lack of food left conference-goers indignant and angry.

“We had to sit through panel after panel and all they brought was that cheap local Turkish coffee,” said one diplomat on condition of anonymity. “It’s disgraceful, I’ve never received such lack of food.”

Our own journalist who attended the event, organized by Conference of Major Famine Organizations President Malcolm in the Middle, said that the lack of decent free buffet was truly concerning.

“How can one report on an event on an empty stomach?”

Many of those who attended come from the regular conference-going circuit of jet-set diplomats and pashas who make up the international community in Tel Aviv. “We demand smoked salmon and chives,” said a tall, blond, European man in a sporty gray suit.

In the foyer, several men and women flown in from around the world who were waiting to speak couldn’t understand the uproar. One of them had seen half his family die from famine.

“We came here to talk about the food problems facing the world and how aid organizations can best confront food scarcity. Not having smoked salmon doesn’t seem to be the largest problem.”

Another man who had to hike 50 kilometers to get to a river to be transported downstream to get to a bus stop and take a bus for 60 hours to get to a small rural airport which then allowed him to attend, was also surprised to hear the uproar about lack of food.

“Why do they come a conference if it’s only about eating?” However, attendees were nonplussed. “I’m starving,” said one. “We’ll never attend another Famine Awareness Conference again. It’s disgraceful,” another said.