Meron and rockets: Trauma times two
‘No one had consulted with me if I was willing to be there in the midst of this terrible inferno,” wrote Avi Marcus, director of a medical division for United Hatzalah, in a poignant Facebook post days after the Meron disaster.
“A hole is open inside me, and a scar will remain in me for life,” he continued. “This hole is bleeding; it hurts; it will not leave soon.”
Marcus said he keeps asking himself if he did enough. Did he do his best? But he knows that despite the trauma, he must find a way to go on.
“We all came out of Meron hunched over in pain and sadness, but we must not sink there, we must rise and look forward, weep over the fallen, but understand and know that we did the best we could and there is One in Heaven who decides who will live and who will die,” he concluded.
Only two weeks after 45 people lost their lives in a crowd crush at Mount Meron, with hundreds of rockets raining down on Israel, the event feels like it is in the distant past. The country has moved on to a new war, a new trauma.
But for many of the rescue workers and the individuals who were on the mountain that fateful night, the tragedy is still very real and, in some cases, worsened by the current situation in which, once again, Israelis are living in fear of death.
About a week after the disaster, dozens of ZAKA rescue and recovery volunteers and paramedics returned to the scene of the disaster to grieve together. Mental health professionals joined them to offer counseling and help the volunteers process the scene that they witnessed on the mountain. They were encouraged to speak about the tragedy with these professionals, who aimed to give them the tools they needed to return to life and routine.
“The volunteers each explained their role at Meron so that they could begin to understand the full picture, to get control of the situation, see that it is impacting everyone and not just them, help them to not feel alone,” explained Merav Uziel Workenach, who has provided emotional support to ZAKA volunteers for the past 15 years. “They need to talk about their emotions together so they can realize they are normal; they can understand that trauma is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.”
United Hatzalah offered a similar evening for its volunteers, Marcus told The Jerusalem Post.
Workenach said that in a rocket or terrorist attack, the workers put on their bright yellow rescue vests and head to a scene knowing that they can return to the stability of their families. But at Meron, their families were with them. While they were digging for victims and dragging the injured out for treatment, they were worrying about their children who were seeing things they might not be able to handle.
“Meron belonged to them; these were their people, their families, their communities,” she further explained to the Post.
Two weeks later, she said that her phone is still ringing with people asking for support. Some volunteers are not sleeping at night.
“They will never really be the same as before Meron,” Workenach said. “You never go back 100%. There is something that stays in your memory. The goal is to move it somewhere so that it does not harm you each day; to lighten the memory.”
IT IS still too early to know if any of these rescue workers will develop full-blown post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
“We use the word ‘trauma’ in our day-to-day language to mean that someone had something horrible happen to them,” said Prof. Sara Freedman of Bar-Ilan University’s School of Social Work. “When we talk about PTSD, it means you had exposure to an event that was very difficult or potentially threatening... and you develop certain symptoms.”
One symptom is called “reexperiencing,” which is where memories of the event come back even when you do not want them to. They can come while you are watching TV and all of a sudden take you back to the event, and you feel like it is happening in the present tense or in the form of a nightmare – even 20 or more years later.
Another symptom, explained Freedman, is avoidance, whereby you do not do anything that is reminiscent of the trauma in any way.
“You won’t wear the same clothes you wore on the day of the event; you won’t watch TV in case there will be a mention of it,” she said, adding that if one of their own body parts reminds them of the event, they might avoid looking at it; or if the tragedy is connected to blood, then they might avoid the color red.
“And with PTSD... almost everywhere feels like there could be a reminder, so people change their lives almost completely,” she continued. “Avoidance is pretty severe.”
A third symptom is arousal, when people cannot concentrate, do not sleep and become very irritable. They might become startled and jump at any unexpected noise.
A fourth symptom ties in with mood, people feeling guilt or upset or angry – having a lot of negative emotions.
“People with PTSD don’t necessarily have everything,” she said, “but they will have some symptoms from the group.”
It used to be believed that PTSD could be caused only by a severe event, such as Meron. However, now it is understood that what seem like lesser events can trigger the disorder.
But she said it is also rarer than one might think. Some 70% to 80% of people do not develop PTSD even if they have some PTSD symptoms shortly after a tragedy. And rescue workers tend to be more resilient than others.
“Most people in the country are probably finding it hard to sleep at the moment or hard to concentrate,” with the escalation in violence, and “that is
the natural reaction to a difficult event,” Freedman told the Post. “Most people have these reactions, but they disappear on their own.”
Other times, they can be dissipated through therapy or some other forms of intervention.
She said that during times of high stress, like the current situation in Israel, it is important not to look at one’s symptoms of stress as abnormal. If your heart beats faster and your palms sweat when you hear a siren, that is a good thing – it will help propel you to the shelter.
At the same time, one can do things to help keep stress levels down, such as avoiding constant connection to media.
“If you live somewhere where there is a high chance of rocket fire, it is better to download an app that tells you when an alert is near than checking [the news] all the time,” Freedman said.
She also recommended trying to stick to routine as much as possible, including eating and exercising at regular intervals, and utilizing your support network as much as possible.
“If you don’t feel relief on days that it is quieter, or you cannot stop crying or carry out your daily functions, then it is worth talking to someone because it might be an indication that you need some help,” Freedman said. “There is no magic formula.”
NIR MADJAR, an associate professor in the educational counseling program at Bar-Ilan’s School of Education, said the advice is similar for children and adults.
“The first thing is the need to provide a stable, coherent and clear environment,” even during a chaotic situation, by informing the children what is going to happen and how it is going to be handled, so they have the feeling that they are in control of their environment.
He said talking about going to the bomb shelter should be equivalent to talking to kids about safety belts. You teach them to wear a seatbelt not because every time you go in the car you expect there to be an accident, but as a precaution.
“That is the same with hearing the alarms,” Madjar said. “The alarm sounds to let us know that something might be dangerous, and we should act.
“Children should be taught in a very calm and simple way,” he continued. “No lies and hiding information from the kids.”
He said children should be brought to their shelters in advance, shown where they will sit or sleep in the event of a siren.
In specific events, such as if a child’s house is directly hit by a missile, do not hesitate to contact a professional for help, Madjar said.
“Just like people should call a hospital if they are injured, they should seek professional support,” he said.
“We all must remember that every person experiences the same situation a bit differently,” Madjar continued. “Be sensitive and know that it is not necessarily an objective situation, but the way people perceive a situation or threat. The threat does not have to be real. It can be imaginary but is frightening in the same way.”
NACHMAN SHAI REVIVO, a ZAKA volunteer, has attended the Meron celebrations for the last several years.
“Every year, we go up and dance and listen to the music and BBQ – it is really nice,” he told the Post. “Then this year, boom.”
He said that for him, the situation felt like it went from one to 100. He went into automatic drive and did what needed to be done to take people out of the cave. But when the dust settled, he realized the tragedy that had happened “hurt so much. Everything hurts.”
That night, he stayed with the bodies to fill out their identity forms. People were trying to reach their loved ones; many did not know yet that their loved ones were dead.
“Each one had a phone in their pocket, and they just kept ringing. All night, 40 phones ringing,” Revivo said.
He jumps now at the sound of his own cellphone.
“People who don’t normalize these situations will see it come out in some other area of their lives,” Marcus said. “If they normalize it and put it in the right place, they may be able to move on.”
He said there is a saying in Hebrew, “nefesh bri’ah b’guf bari,” which means “a healthy soul in a healthy body.”
“To be stable physically, you need your soul to also be stable,” Marcus said.