L'UOMO

the man, shiftily entered the church. Scanning the surroundings as he dipped his fingertips in the font, he registered another human presence as an invasion of his privacy: an old lady sitting at the end of a pew in the front row, praying her Rosary.

“What a drag,” he muttered. Then he knitted his fingers and began his little pre-prepared speech.

“Lord, I know we haven’t seen each other for ages, but I’ve never been a fan of compulsory attendance. I mean, people can meet occasionally on the off chance and still have a profound attachment, right? That’s why I’m confident You’ll remember me. Just like I know You’re there. But the thing is, I no longer know where You are.You see, I can’t find you anymore. Will You tell me what it is I’ve done to You? Is it that You don’t like me? Just so I know. At least I can put my mind at ease.

Having finished his screwball rant, he shut his eyes and took a deep breath to recover from the racing heartbeat that his tirade had induced. It took him a while to realise that the voice speaking to him was r ight by his ear.

“You must be a bit of a moron, kiddo,” said the lady who had been sitting in the front row a moment before.

“Excuse me?” he asked opening his eyes.

“Forget about me excusing you,” she replied, “You’re rude. You show up in my office without an appointment, demanding explanations about what I do and where I am. You think I’m at your disposal, huh?”

The man rubbed his eyes and peered at the old woman again, as if expecting to see her differently. But instead he saw a lady with thinning hair and skin marked by age, speaking to him in her v oice.

“So You would be...”

“Ooh, you’re so intuitive.”

“Oh, my God.”

“Tut-tut,” she said wagging her index finger, “you’re naming in vain, buddy. “I don’t believe it.”

“What’s that, sorry?”

“No, I meant… it’s incredible.”

“What a discovery for you. It’s incredible, so what? That’s precisely the point.” “Hey, that’s how it is. It never occurred to me.”

“It’s because you’re missing the basics. Now how about you scoot out of here and let me work.”

“What manners.”

“Remember one thing. Relationships must be cultivated.”

“I’ll make a note of that.”

“Don’t try to be funny.”

“I was ser ious.”

“Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll get back to accompanying the lady with her Rosary, since you interrupted her.”