LUCIAN FREUD JUNIOR
20 May 2000
Dear Lucian Freud
my mother (Mrs Edith Delores “Dolly” Orsino-Heald) has always encouraged me to believe that my father was her second husband, Mr Edward L. Tapper. But today upon my turning 18 and reaching the age of majority she told me that my real father was (and is) you. She explained that she met you in Lisbon in August of 1981 and spent a memorable night at the Grande Palácio Hotel. She is 100% certain that you were (are) the father of her ensuing child (me) because she never had successfully conclusive carnal relations with her first husband. Of course I immediately googled you and found out that you are a famous British artist and the grandson of Sigmund Freud! That makes a lot of sense because I have always felt I might be an artist (not sure what kind) and maybe Jewish as well.
To commemorate this joyous event in my life, I would like to legally change my name to Lucian Freud, Jr. and live with you in London, England. I’m enclosing a photograph of myself which was taken on a recent school trip to Iguazu Falls. I am the tall boy wearing a serape with a capuchin monkey on my shoulder. Do you see a familial likeness? I do! (I mean with the boy, not the monkey.)
I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience so that we may plan our long-awaited reunion, although I guess it isn’t a reunion since we haven’t met (yet).
Undoubtedly yours,
14 June 2000
Dear Dad
I was so HAPPY to receive your letter but I was SAD to hear you claim you could not possibly be my father. Sad but not surprised as Mum had told me that her acquaintance with you was brief and perhaps not as memorable for you as it was for her. To help you remember, I am enclosing a photo of her as she looked about that time (she is the woman standing behind Richard Gere and Debra Winger at the 1983 Golden Globe Awards). She remembers that you ordered baba au rhum and a bottle of 1975 Dom Pérignon from room service and that you asked her to do something “strange” (her word) with your pocket watch and the baba au rhum. I trust these details jump-start your memory and remove any doubt from your mind that you are in fact my father and will welcome me with open arms when I presently arrive in London.
Love your son,
7 July 2000
Dear Lucian Freud
I acknowledge receipt of the letter dated 30 June 2000 and sent to me by your lawyers, Galbraithe & Sons. I hereby promise to never contact you again by telephone, facsimile machine, standard mail, electronic mail, telegram or any other form of interpersonal communication now known or discovered in the future and to relinquish any and all claims, assertions and delusions about being related to you by blood or any other bodily substance.
If at any time in the future you change your mind PLEASE don’t hesitate to contact me by any or all of the forms mentioned above (except I don’t have a fax machine). I don’t think I will ever recover from the disappointment of your abandonment but will never stop hoping that one day we may embrace as father and son. You can stop me from proclaiming the truth but you can never stop me from believing it.
(Not) Yours,
Peter Cameron (1959, US) is the author of eight novels (the latest is What Happens at Night, 2020) and three collections of stories, all published in Italy by Adelphi. He lives in New York City and Sandgate, Vermont.