BIG PACKAGES,

small pleasures

IT seems like men just can’t get it right when it comes to the length and breadth of their … resumes. Some men are made to feel inadequate when they show up for a one-onone interview and just don’t ‘measure up’, as the common belief is that women employers love men who are packing big briefcases.

It is surprising, then, that some well-endowed men are also complaining — apparently they are overqualified for a lot of women. Their vast experience just won’t fit into the salary packages that interest them. In some cases the employers request that they fill a capacity lower down the ladder than they were prepared to, and other times they are turned down for lesser men. In some fortunate cases, however, a brave employer will take one of these men on staff and give herself time to adjust to accommodate all that he has to offer.

These heavily-equipped men share their experiences with their large packages on the job hunt.

Palmer, 26, student:

It’s not worth it. Sometimes I wish it was smaller because girls will behave like they can manage it, but then they start making up their faces and crying and it feels like I’m a forceful monster. I have to be with a girl for a while before things get a bit easier, and even then sometimes it’s still painful for her. But I guess I prefer being too big than too little.

Romar, 24, CSR agent:

It’s just as bad as being too small if you ask me. I’ve had to adapt by learning other ‘skills’ to keep women happy. Because as much as they behave as if they like big ‘egos’, they can’t take them. And it might sound selfish, but I don’t trust girls who aren’t a little scared when they see what I’m working with at first.

Donald, 32, graphic designer: It’s a blessing. You just have to learn to work with it and take your time. Women have babies, so nothing is impossible if she is prepared and comfortable with you. My motto is, a little foreplay keeps the pain at bay.

Raj, 27, production assistant:

It depends on the girl. Every hoe have dem stick a bush. What might not work for one woman is what another will cheat on her man for. You just have to find your match.

James, 34, body repair man: Sometimes it can be scary for them but it’s a blessing and a curse. Most women I’ve met will give it a chance, and once you prove that you know how to manage yourself, they will take time to let you in. The chickenheads will run out of the coop.