Don’t be afraid to adopt children, pastor urges
TWENTY-ONE years ago, after being divinely prodded, Dr Pauline Mullings adopted a baby from Maxfield Park Children’s Home. Today, she is encouraging other capable Jamaicans to open their hearts to children who have been orphaned or abandoned.
“I am a mother who adopted my child and I remember when I waited for a week after I identified her and I was told by the Adoption Board that I cannot get the child yet and I was saying what’s going on, this is now two weeks, why can’t I have her. They said we have to get her blood tests, we have to test if they have AIDS (or) venereal diseases, I said that baby that you sent me to look at, that I desire if she even has AIDS she needs someone to take care of her and I will take care of her even if she has AIDS,” Dr Mullings shared during a recent appearance on virtual talk show Heart to Heart.
“The lady looked at me, she said, ‘Really?’ And I said, ‘Sure’. She said, ‘Would you take her before we do the blood test?’ I said, ‘Yes, I will take her’. She said, ‘You know Dr Mullings, whatever the outcome’. I said, ‘Sure, I am prepared for that’ and when I took her and got her blood test done she was a perfect child,” Dr Mullings beamed.
“Sometimes children also become orphans because parents die from accidents or natural causes, there are so many reasons why we have orphans today but it doesn’t change the fact they exist but one thing we have to be concerned about is how challenged these children are in life because they do not have parents,” she pointed out.
Dr Mullings, a minister of religion, family life consultant and chair of the National Child Month Committee, also described as startling, global statistics relating to orphans.
According to the United Nations Children’s Education Fund (UNICEF), there are roughly 153 million orphans in the world and every day an estimated 5,700 more children become orphans.
Meanwhile, roughly 73,000 children on the island of Jamaica according to UNICEF are orphans and have either lost one or both parents.
“That’s startling, and it simply means that more children than we imagine do not have parents. A lot of them are going to grow up not experiencing true love...and it hurts...there is no bonding with family, they feel disconnected, they have nobody, these things are frightening, for me it hurts,” she said while urging responsible individuals to contemplate opening their hearts and homes to such children.
“The Government is going to do the best they can do, but we have to understand that it cannot take the place of a home and a family setting where these children feel loved and appreciated and accepted and needed, where they are developed into their full potential. Don’t forget that a lot of these children are also abused; the lack of parental guidance and support leads many of them into prostitution,” she pointed out further.
Noting that she was not of the opinion that churches were as helpful in this regard as they should be, she made this impassioned plea: “I want to take this opportunity to encourage our leaders and pastors to encourage the leadership to get members involved. We can do this through adoption or foster parenting. I have a passion for Jamaican children, I think we have the most beautiful children...we need to have a passion for our children here in Jamaica and anything we can do to make life better for them we should do it.”
In the meantime, Dr Mullings said she was aware of the struggles facing persons who wish to adopt but who have been waiting for years. This, she said, was as a result of another startling reality: “You know what I have found? There are a lot of people who are not giving up their children for adoption, they are in the homes but they are not for adoption. They (parent/s) want the Government to take care of them until they can manage, so that’s the problem, we don’t have a lot of children for adoption so what is happening is that persons will apply but they can’t find a child to give them. So what we are trying to do now is in dealing with these persons. If you know of someone willing to have their child adopted then you can go that route,” she said.
“It’s really a challenge, they have a lot of applications but they don’t have enough babies. We don’t have a lot of orphans in the homes...we do have those who are full orphans but they are not the majority and the ones who are full orphans they go so fast, we do not have a lot of them sitting down and waiting to be adopted,” she added.
She urged persons not to balk at the length of the process.
“You have to go through the process but you also have to understand that the Government has to protect the child and make sure that when you say you are adopting a child you are not looking a servant or a slave or you are not looking a sex partner, so the Government has to make sure that when they give you the children they are putting them in safe hands,” she pointed out.
“We can play our part. I remember 21 years ago when the Lord spoke to my heart...and I went to the Adoption Board and within two weeks I had this baby. I got her at six months. She was a happy baby...i give God thanks because it was a good thing,” she said of her child, a graduate of a prominent high school and now a final-year nursing student.
“That makes me happy because God used my life to bless somebody else’s life and today I am being blessed by her because she’s beautiful and loving and caring and she’s saved and she loves the Lord. I thank God she took the training she got. I could not do it alone. I have my support team, persons at church, my mother, my siblings, my adopted mom, my friends.
“I want to appeal to someone ...think about taking care of an orphan, falling in love with an orphan, being there for an orphan doing something that can change their life,” Dr Mullings urged.
“I often think about her and I say God what would her life be like if I didn’t take her? What would her life be like if somebody else had got her? But I thank God that he spoke, I listened, I acted, I give Him all the glory, though rough times as a single mother I was never alone, I have a great support group, at church at school in the neighbourhood.
“I am just saying, don’t be so hard with your heart, there is somebody out there who gave birth but God wants you to mother or father that child. I encourage somebody, adopt and if you can’t do it on your own get in the foster programme but help a child today, tomorrow that same child will turn around and help you,” she stated.