Cancer survivor’s journey to learn self-acceptance
OCHO RIOS, St Ann — It has been a seven-year journey to a place of self-acceptance for Nadia Melville who is now living with one breast, after losing the other to cancer. Following the surgery, Melville simply did not feel beautiful any more. Mirrors were her worst enemy and she felt as though she was always being judged by others.
“It was traumatic to lose one of my breasts. I wouldn’t look at myself and it took me a while to actually look at myself in the mirror. I felt like a part of me was gone and that everyone could see it. When I walked by people on the road I just felt like their eyes were always on me and they know that something was missing from my body,” Melville told the Jamaica Observer.
“I was scared to bathe because I didn’t want to get it wet although I know there was no breast there,” she continued.
The now 63-year-old’s confidence was completely shattered after the toll chemotherapy took on her physical appearance. She felt crippled. She was no longer the person she had been all her life.
“My hair started dropping out due to the chemo so I wouldn’t go on the road without my hat. That was another thing I struggled with because I was used to having my flowing shoulder-length hair and styling it,” she said. “I kept on saying, ‘Why is this happening to me’?”
Melville was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma in 2014. The cancer was at stage two and had spread to three lymph nodes in her breast.
“It is a good thing I found out when I did because otherwise it probably would have gone out of control. Within the space of three months I had the breast taken off because I was so scared I couldn’t sleep. I was stressed and my family was also in a terrible state; but I put up a fight,” she said.
Healing took some time for the breast cancer survivor who is proud to say that she is now in a better place and lives by the firm belief that there is life after cancer.
“A lot of people don’t even want to say the word cancer because they think it is a death sentence, but it is not,” she proclaimed. “Be positive, live your life, make your jokes; because it is just life and if you allow it to take control of your mind it will fester on you.”
In addition to being fitted with a prosthesis which brought back some level of confidence, the Exchange, Ocho Rios, St Ann resident relied on encouraging words from family and friends to regain control of her life. She has also found that talking about her experience helps.
“It took a while for that confidence to come back but I talk about it and get other people to share my story with. I told myself that this is who I now am, and stop being scared of the mirror. I talk about my journey, it is my favourite thing to do and I laugh a lot because it helps,” said Melville.