There is no dignity in seeking vengeance
Dear Editor,
Have you ever wished to wreak vengeance upon someone? It happens all the time, so don’t feel bad. Some people deserve a kick in the posterior or a good verbal knock-down. It is a natural thing to seek retribution on someone who you believe has harmed you.
The problem is, retribution is often cyclical. A fist begets a fist, they say, and the sweetness of vengeance can become unpleasantly sour. Have you ever heard the adage, “Vengeance is a lazy form of grief,”?
What does that mean? Well, when we are offended and have a reason to seek vengeance, we feel like the victim and feel sorry for ourselves. This self-sorrow develops into anger and hate. And, suddenly, we are ready to inflict pain.
This resentment leads you toward negative fantasies about your ex, an unfriendly neighbour, or an uncooperative fellow employee, and the terrible things that should happen to them. Hoping that your ex’s bald spot grows or your neighbour’s illegally parked car will be towed may feel satisfying, but these feelings are actually self-destructive in the long run.
The pain and bad luck of others can make good stories, in fact, they often do in many a movie. But in our best and silent moments, we know that their pain won’t make us feel better. In fact, we are only hurting ourselves.
Now, if you are a psychopath, the pain you inflict will certainly bring a smile to your face, but if you are a well-mannered person, the pain of others will not benefit you.
Harming others is like drinking poison and waiting on the other person to die. The poison of mistrust, hate, and vengeance will eat away at your self-respect and mental health.
There is no way to anger or hurt someone and maintain your self-respect. Instead, focus on turning your grief into a process that gets your life back on track and restores your self-confidence and sense of purpose. The best release of your emotions and grief would be succeeding in living a happy, successful life.
It will demand self-determination and hard work, but you can get unruly and emotionally insecure or you can take the bull by the horns and make a good day for yourself.
We are seeing this scenario play out on the international stage. Russia has invaded the Ukraine, and the world is calling for President Vladimir Putin’s head on a platter.
Oh yes, vengeance would be sweet, but the process to deliver this vengeance would cost many people their lives, with unspeakable horrors inflicted upon more than just the Ukrainians.
The sweetest revenge the Ukraine can exert, with the West’s help, is for it to not only survive — perhaps with less territory than pre-invasion — but to also continue being a prosperous democracy.
Steven Kaszab Bradford, Ontario skaszab@yahoo.ca