Men pay and pay and pay

You pay a great deal too dear, For what’s given freely.

— Shakespeare, The Winter’s Tale

CAN you believe my shock, surprise, dismay and unabated amusement when I came across that quote above from The Winter’s Tale? It almost falls in line with what I and others such as Oscar Wilde and George Bernard Shaw have been saying all along, but in a slightly different bent, “Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free.” Or better yet, although in a more raunchy, salacious way, “Getting sex for free or paying for sex; sex for free definitely costs more.”

So many men have found this out the hard way, as they pursue women and pay the price for their efforts. Oh, how they pay and pay and pay. And yet, they still refuse to learn, or if they do learn, they’re suckers for punishment, as they keep going back for more, and more and more.

It’s akin to being scammed by a smooth-talking trickster, yet every time he or she comes around you keep on falling for the same ruse.

“What a man fool fool, keep on paying for the same fluxy mango over and over again.”

That’s where we’ll be going today, in the store where men pay and pay and pay, right after these free responses to what I had to say about ‘Scamming’.

Hi Tony,

It’s amazing how many different types of scamming are invented by scammers. Most scammers target older folks because they are not up to speed with technology and are also more emotional when the scammers mention the older person’s grandchild as being in need for an emergency. Victims come in all types and shapes: professors, engineers, doctors, etc. I get several phone calls daily from scammers, my call display will sometimes show ‘possible spam’, but I don’t answer the phone if there is no name showing or I don’t recognise the number. After a while they stop calling, but new numbers appear to replace the spurned ones.

Kendrick Somewhere in the USA

Hello Teerob,

Scammers have always been with us, only the names have changed, even though the game remains the same. Con man, trickster, Three card man, snake oil salesman, you name it, it’s the same old story, someone wants to trick you out of your hard-earned money. What’s amazing is how people keep on falling for these scams over and over again. Now, just send me some money and I’ll tell you how to avoid being scammed.

Teddy

For some bizarre historical reason, men have been shackled with the burden of having to pay for the services of women. Now, this may occur in an obvious overt form, but sometimes creeps in undercover in a covert way.

Even as I say that, I have to modify but not mollify what I say, for there are men who do happen to pay for the services of women in an overt way, as in the case of soliciting prostitutes, where the man pays and the woman delivers the goods.

It’s the world’s oldest profession and perhaps the world’s most honest, as it’s clean, clear cut and above board. Cash or kind handed over and services rendered. Even now I remember my fledgling years at the Jamaica Information Service (JIS) television department when the producer scriptwriter who mentored me said to me, “Son I give my salary to whores every month, for we both know exactly what the deal is; I pay, she delivers, with no lies.”

This was after I asked him why he kept on buying prostitutes and ended up being broke before the next pay day came around. I could never understand men paying for it, for I was a young, athletic, tall, handsome lad, who had no problem attracting women without having to pay for it.

But upon reflection, and seeing how some men kept on paying and paying and paying, even though they never solicited call girls, I had to reconsider what my JIS mentor had told me. Yes, many men never forked over a dollar to acquire the services of women, but ended up paying through their noses for services rendered. For some it was a disservice.

I won’t belabour the point about men marrying women, getting divorced and having to pay alimony or maintenance for the rest of their lives. Even prisoners get a finite sentence with possibility of parole.

I won’t dwell on the point about how famous movie stars, athletes, businessmen, marry these pretty women who come to the table, or should I say bedroom, with nothing but their looks, and leave smiling all the way to the bank after the relationship ends.

I won’t even mention how many women have accrued several homes after divorcing their husbands.

“Man, she’s a great housekeeper, she gone three already.”

Just recently my bredrin who lives in the USA was lamenting how his ex-wife got two houses from him during the divorce settlement. If these men knew how much they’d be paying for so-called free love, they may have reconsidered the arrangement.

But heck, the woman doesn’t even have to be married to the man to have him pay through his nose. Just recently it was reported in the US news that golfer Tiger Woods was being sued by his ex-girlfriend for more than US$30 million because he broke up with her and kicked her out of the house. He tricked her by sending her on vacation, then changed the house locks when she was gone. Sly, cunning, or cruel?

That certainly gives new meaning to the term severance pay. Men should be so lucky, a woman breaks up with them and they end up getting money for all the years of services rendered.

What manner of madness is this, a man decides to end the relationship, terminates the arrangement, calls it off, and ends up being sued for more than US$30 million? Not even US$30,000, but US$30 million? What sacred part of her anatomy is worth so much?

Dem say dat every dog have him day and every puss have him four o’clock. Who made up these rules anyway, who decreed these edicts, where a man has to pay for a woman’s services or even her presence?

You may scoff all you like, but no woman is going to entertain any man unless he can offer her something in return. It may not necessarily be hard cash, but material stuff will do just fine.

“Where are you going with your two empty long hands? Man, get real.”

When they start the relationship he has to pick her up, he has to take her out, he has to pay for the date, the meal, the drinks, the movies. When and where did this notion originate, and why is it perpetuated, even though many women earn far more money than many men nowadays?

Somehow it’s ingrained in the psyche of many societies that the man has to pay, and even when he pays, he’s required to pay some more. It’s like the hire purchase item that’s never paid off, it’s like the mafia loan that lasts forever, it’s the never ending mortgage, it’s the gift that keeps on taking.

Many women justify this by saying, “If him want this, him must pay for it.” What’s this anyway, and pay for what?”

“As far as I’m concerned, they should want me as much as I want them,” is what this guy said. Or was it really me who said that and passing it off on some anonymous person?

Why aren’t men taken out more, have their bills paid and their needs taken care of? Is it that what the woman has to offer is more valuable than the man’s?

It was famous American lawyer Gloria Aldred who asked the question, “Why is it immoral to be paid for an act that is perfectly legal if done for free?” So many questions, so few answers.

We’ve always heard about high maintenance women women who require men to pay and pay and pay for every aspect of their lives. How come we never hear about high maintenance men?

Whatever, the fact is, men have been paying every step of the way, and have been doing so for centuries, and will continue to do so. Whether it’s an over the counter undercover transaction, or a cashless relationship, the man pays and pays and pays.

More time. seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: No wonder people say that Jamaica is not a real place. The latest situation is in regards to us importing ganja from Canada. Now, this would be laughable if it wasn’t so tragic. What is wrong with that picture? Jamaica is known for its top class marijuana, and people flock our shores to get it. Illegal exporters will risk life and limb to get the product out to foreign lands because the demand is so great. Yet, now we are importing ganja from, of all places, Canada. I do not smoke, never have, but I grieve for our local growers who just can’t seem to get a fair share of this lucrative market. It’s like taking your woman to a brothel or bringing ice to people in Alaska, or sand to Saudi Arabia. What next, importing sea water?