FR BE WARNED! Barry Davidson says overinvolvement in church can cause problems in family

T IS no secret that church membership comprises mainly women, and for many of them, balancing an active and committed church life with their families can be a challenge.

It is therefore important that she strike the right balance in ensuring there is no negative impact on family life.

Dr Barry Davidson, marriage and family therapist and chief executive officer of Family Life Ministries, said such a woman is “having an affair with Church and is therefore exposing her husband and family to some possible dangers. Her husband needs her companionship and her children need her time and attention. If her overinvolvement with Church makes this impossible, then she is neglecting both her husband and children and could live to regret it.”

For the involved church lady, she will have to learn the importance of prioritising with her first priority – God – meaning her devotional life.

According to Davidson, her second priority must be her husband then her children.

“Her third priority must be her job and her fourth priority her ministry in the Church. The problem in the Church is that too few are doing what many should be doing. More people should be involved in the Church’s ministry so that the work is shared,” he said.

CAUGHT UP IN CHURCH ACTIVITIES

Although this should be the case, a lot of women are feverishly caught up in church activities almost every day of the week. Even when church is not in session, some take the time out to clean the tabernacle – even more time away from home.

Many unsaved husbands, and even those in the Church, are dissatisfied with the time their wives set aside for quality time.

Fielding the question on whether husbands should be understanding and not nag about sex as their wives carry out church work, Davidson said: “The husband should not need to nag because of the wife’s knowledge of what the Bible teaches. In the New Testament, we read that a husband and wife actually deprive one another when they refuse to give physical pleasure and satisfaction to each other. The only exception to this is when a married couple agrees to abstain for a special time of prayer.”

What many Christian women do not realise and are not taking heed of is that it is actually part of their ministry to take care of their husband,s needs as well as the children.

A common misconception Christian women have when it comes to their home duties, as well as that of the Church, according to Davidson, is that they think that God and ministry are the same.

DAVIDSON

“They don’t realise that you can be busy for God, but not making God your number-one priority does not mean ministy. It means your devotional life, the time you spend hearing from God and speaking to God. Her spouse and children have a higher priority than the ministry in the Church,” he pointed out.

Davidson stressed that marriage is about giving, not getting.

“A wife’s number-one priority is to please God, and her second priority ought to be to give of herself to her husband in a God-pleasing way. Her husband’s number-one priority ought to be to please God, and his second priority is to please his wife in a God-pleasing way,” said Davidson.