Relationships within the family
OBJECTIVES
AT THE end of this lesson, you should be able to: a) Identify the type of arrangements by which couples unite to form a family. b) Compare the different family unions in the Caribbean. c) Give a definition for the different forms of marriage. d) Examine the roles, relationships and responsibilities of adult and sibling members of a Caribbean family.
WHAT IS A UNION?
The term ‘union’, in relation to the family, is used to describe the type of arrangement by which couples come together to form a family.
UNIONS IDENTIFIED IN THE CARIBBEAN INCLUDE:
i. legal marriage/monogamy ii. common-law or consensual union iii. visiting relationships
Couples may unite to form a family through:
1. LEGAL MARRIAGE
This union is characterised by a formal marriage ceremony that is either conducted within a religious or a legal context. Persons in the Caribbean who are under age 18 but want to get married must have the consent of their parents. A marriage may either end with the death of one spouse, when there is a divorce, an annulment of the marriage through the court, or if there is an agreement to legally separate.
2. THE COMMON-LAW/CONSENSUAL UNION
This type of union occurs when a man and a woman decide to live together as man and wife, without having a marriage ceremony. This arrangement is made by mutual agreement and is referred to as a consensual union. This union may lead to marriage.
3. THE VISITING RELATIONSHIP
This union occurs when men and women share a sexual relationship but do not live together. Children may or may not be produced. This union may also lead to legal marriage.
DIFFERENT FORMS OF MARRIAGES
Different forms of marriages may be formed in a society. These types of marriage relate to the culture and the laws of the specific country.
Identify the forms of marriages practised in your society A legal marriage takes different forms. i. Monogamy – The marriage of one man to one woman. This is practised in the Caribbean.
ii. Polygamy – A generalized term for the custom of having more than one spouse at a time. a. Polygyny – Custom of one man having two or more wives. b. Polyandry – custom of one woman having two or more husbands.
It is important to note that the society in which one lives, to a large extent, determines the form of marriage that is practised. In our Caribbean societies, for example, if an individual gets married to another while still married to the first wife/husband, he/she would be considered a bigamist. Bigamy is a crime punishable by law.
FAMILY ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES
Roles must play a very important part in any family. It is believed that the establishment of clear roles within a family is linked to a family’s ability to deal with day-to-day life, unforeseen crises and the normal changes that occur in families over time.
FAMILY ROLES
Each individual member of a family occupies certain roles such as child, sibling and grandchild. Along with roles come responsibilities for how those roles should be fulfilled. Parents are expected to teach, discipline and provide for their children. Children, on the other hand, are expected to cooperate and respect their parents. As family members get older, they take on additional roles, such as becoming a spouse, parent or grandparent. A person’s role is always expanding or changing, depending upon his or her age and family stage.
Parents/adults/heads of the family are usually responsible for providing resources such as money, food, clothing and shelter for all family members. Nurturing and supporting other family members is an essential responsibility that includes providing comfort, warmth and reassurance for family members. Parental role also includes leadership, decision making, handling family finances and maintaining appropriate roles with respect to extended family, friends and neighbours.
These roles should be assigned in such a way that family members are not overburdened. Each family member must practise role accountability, which refers to a family member’s sense of responsibility for completing the tasks of an assigned role. There should be procedures put in place in families which should ensure that necessary family functions are fulfilled. To accomplish this:
Roles should be clearly identifiable. Individual family members must know and acknowledge their roles and responsibilities. Establishing clear roles helps a family to function more effectively because each member knows what he/she is expected to accomplish. If these individuals fail to fulfill their roles, then other family members may have to do extra work, making them feel resentful and overburdened, thus hurting the functioning of the family.
Flexibility in roles is essential in a healthy family. Family roles naturally change over time. They also may change during times of crisis, such as when a family member becomes seriously ill or unexpectedly dies.
In families, every member is responsible for fulfilling certain roles. These roles are spread among the various members so that no one is asked to take on too many responsibilities. Problems arise if one family member is forced to fulfil too many roles.
ADVANTAGES OF FULFILLING FAMILY ROLES
Families that function well have members who take their roles seriously and do their best to fulfil their duties. Members who fail to take their roles seriously, or who refuse to carry out their roles, can create significant problems for the entire family.
Establishing clear, flexible roles is a key to successful family functioning. In families where clear, flexible roles exist, individual members will be much more likely to take their responsibilities seriously.
ACTIVITY
a. Explain the difference between the types of unions in the Caribbean. b. State three reasons why role allocation is important in a family. c. Suggest three problems that may occur if family members do not feel comfortable or if they neglect their roles.
SOURCE
Families First - Keys to Successful Family Functioning: Family Roles Rick Peterson, extension specialist and assistant professor, Department of Human Development, and Stephen Green, graduate student, Department of Human Development, Virginia Tech.