Beau plus one

FOR MANY women, finding the man of their dreams is mission impossible. Dating is complicated enough as it is, so imagine bringing children into the mix. That package deal may not be ideal, especially if they come with the extra baggage of ‘baby mama drama’.

For most women, the question on the first date is, “Do you have kids?” This will determine if there is a second. According to relationship counsellor Sidney McGill, “Most young women ideally want to be in a long-term intimate relationship with a single man who is unencumbered by past love relationships, with children to boot. It takes a spiritually, emotionally, and most times, physically mature woman to commit to a man who still has to communicate with past lovers because of the need to play his fatherly role to his children. The saying: ‘Ole fire ’tick easy fi ketch’ rings true here, since the man is obligated to interact with his expartner because of his duty to care for his children.”

He advises women who are dating a man with children to develop a cordial, but not too close of a relationship with his expartner. This will avoid unnecessary insecurities emerging between her and the past lover. Also, she needs to earn the love and respect of his children – a quality that she has to intentionally work at creating.

For some women, a man with children isn’t a deal breaker, but others are not afraid to admit it’s a definite no-no. Why? Take a look below.

I do not have a problem dating a man who has a child, as long as it is one, and it also depends on the relationship he has with the child’s mother. If it is amicable and civil and not too friendly, then I am a go. They can’t be any of the extremes – they cannot be best friends or toxic towards each other because I am not one for the drama. But him having a child is certainly not a deal breaker, it takes the pressure off me having one.

No, I would not date a man with a child. Call me selfish, but there is just something special about giving a man his first child. If I meet the love of my life and he already has a child, then probably I’d accept the child just the same, but I want to give my man all his kids.

It depends. If he has children but has his life together, I would probably date him. But if he is