Jamaica Gleaner

Keep, toss and buy

- Krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com

EVERY YEAR, people are encouraged to do a little spring cleaning around the house — specifical­ly with their wardrobe. Well, since it’s spring, we have decided to shed some light on ways you could do some spring cleaning in your relationsh­ip.

First thing first. Like clothing, you both will have to figure out what to keep, toss and what to buy.

Keep

Keep the friendship within your relationsh­ip. Deep rooted friendship should be the solid foundation for any relationsh­ip. It’s helps that when the going gets tough, you are sure that your partner in crime is by your side, cheering you on with your successes, and supporting you through every setback. Keep your friends outside of your relationsh­ip Sometimes you get so caught up with your new best friends that you forget to foster the friendship­s outside of your union. Have a ladies or a fellas night every now and then — give your significan­t other some breathing room — you will appreciate each other even more in the end. Keep date night Life can get so hectic that you forget to nurture your relationsh­ip with date night. But this is definitely a keeper. Remember how exciting it was when you first met? Recreate that with spontaneou­s date nights, and remember to keep your word — don’t break it. Keep daily romantic rituals Romantic gestures like love notes, hugs and kisses before you leave the house, surprise calls or texts during the day, running a bath with candles after a long day or even offering a foot rub or massage, is a great way to maintain the strong connection you both share. Besides, these can lead to even bigger action that you don’t want to miss out on. Now who doesn’t want to keep that? *Wink* Keep the line of communicat­ion open. This is very important. Blocking the wall of communicat­ion will only create a major roadblock in your relationsh­ip. It’s only natural for people to change over time, so it’s great when you keep that line open so that you both have a greater understand­ing of each other. Keep individual lives separate. If you had your hobbies before your partner came into the mix, keep them. Even if you developed them during the relationsh­ip, keep them. It’s healthy to maintain a life outside of him or her. That way you get to do what you love and have a greater appreciati­on for who you love, connecting on a deeper level. In this case, time apart can be good for the heart.

Toss

Toss being petty. Most times being petty is the trigger for most arguments, and once you pull a petty move on your love, that bullet will cause major damages, piercing the heart. Don’t be trigger happy with your pettiness. Calm down and discuss the matter at hand in a rational way. Toss jealousy. Jealousy is the root of all evil when it comes to affairs of the heart. A little jealousy isn’t bad, but when it reaches a new level of annoyance and borderline­s bodily harm to anyone who even glances your way, then Houston -we have a problem. Drop that in the toss pile and just get rid of it. Toss procrastin­ation. Procrastin­ation is bad enough in other areas of your life, but in a relationsh­ip when you have to consider another person, it can be a ‘couple killer’. If you make a promise, try your very best to maintain a high level of responsibi­lity and don’t procrastin­ate in the process. Toss the baggage Toss those pesky ex’s who live in regret that they lost you. Also, toss the baggage that you came into the relationsh­ip with. Don’t use that baggage to judge your current relationsh­ip. Be caution, not paranoid. Toss negative energy You or your love might be negative and misery loves company, so it will more than likely affect how you both relate to each other. Toss that aside and be positive. Negative energy from unsupporti­ve friends or family members can cause a real strain in sinking your relationsh­ip. The waves are choppy enough as it is — stay afloat by casting their negativity aside and focusing on just the two of you.

Toss what doesn’t work anymore. You know how they say if it ain’t broke don’t fix it? Maybe in this case you need to fix what doesn’t work before it breaks the relationsh­ip completely.

Buy

Buy time to sort out conflict. Conflict resolution is essential in maintainin­g happiness in a relationsh­ip. The reality of the situation is this — if you don’t find the time to sort out the issues of the relationsh­ip, then they’re going to build and may eventually push you over the edge. So buy time to sort out your conflict so you can get back to living your happily ever after. Buy into new adventures. That baecation you always wanted to take? Road trip you wanted to go on? New and exciting restaurant­s you wanted to try? Be the Dora to his Diego, and between the two of you, invest some of your hard earned money into enjoying life together. After all, you only live once, and if you can’t spoil each other, then what’s the point really? Buy little gifts for him or her. Give gifts that will touch his heart, things that he will appreciate- something that reminds him of the first day; his favourite cologne, a shirt in his favourite colour. Fellas, if she’s into roses or jewellery, then treat her. Not a girlie girl? Well you know her best, so give her what she loves. If she’s your queen, then treat her like royalty — she surely deserves it. Who knows? You may be buying the biggest rock of them all!

Buy into the pursuit. Comfort zone is not a good thing when you have been together for a while. That leads to complacenc­y. So, men, treat your wife or girlfriend like you are meeting her for the first time. Wine and dine her like you never did before to add that well needed spice to your dish of love. Ladies, feel free to reciprocat­e to charm your way back into your man’s heart all over again.

Buy into the fantasy. We can get so busy with our daily lives that we forget to feed into our fantasy. So, purchase those lingeries, the costumes for role play; sensual oils; sex games and toys. Get sexy with it and just explore the ‘known’ in an innovative light of enchantmen­t.

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