Daddy issues

DADS DON’T really get any credit. Think about it for a second. Whenever someone is cursing another individual, whether man or woman, they never say “go (expletive) yuh fada”.

Oh no, it’s always mom who gets the unholy statement. Now, one way to look at it is that people don’t respect women.

That’s true, but we can also say that they consider the mother the more sacred of the two parents. So if you bring her into the conversation in that manner, it’s bound to elicit the hurt you were going for.

So it seems like if you make a disparaging comment about the person’s father, aka the lesser of the apostles, it’s more likely you won’t get the desired effect of getting the person ‘bringle’.

Interesting that in a nation, and to a wider extent a world where men still dominate in the boardroom, government and other areas, the fatherhood aspect gets less press.

It’s almost like as long as they’re employing many people, keeping Jamaica afloat, or they can play sports really well, whatever type of dad they are is irrelevant.

I’ve seen how some fathers handle their children, and to be fair, I might understand if the tykes felt better off with their mommies.

One day I heard a man shepherding his boys off to a chore. One of them mumbled some form of complaint. Bg mistake!

“A wha do dis big (expletive) bwoy yah man? Yuh bet mi sen’ yuh back a yuh modda?” the man bellowed.

Now, whether the little man’s grouse was actually worth a listening ear is another matter. But the lack of sympathy from his ‘old man’ must have been disconcerting to the boy.

But then again, if he’s been subjected to this for the majority of his young life, then by now, it’s probably the proverbial water off a duck’s back.

Thing is, over time, there have been many expectations of men in general, and not just those who are fathers.

Boys aren’t supposed to cry, I heard as a child. So I’m guessing when a boy who hears that becomes a father, he’s going to tell his sons the same thing.

Then again, there are some fathers who are a little too protective of their children.

“Hey, mi wi kill smaddy fi my pickney enuh” I heard one man say. Ahm, that’s very valiant but are you sure the crime is worth the ‘offence’ against the child?

And if you feel it is, who’s going to take care of this coveted child of yours when you’re sharing cells with far more hardened criminals?

And then you have the fathers who treat children like gleaming trophies of their masculinity.

In their eyes, their offspring can do no wrong, even when the rest of the world realises they can and have (and will for years to come).

But I realise, despite not being one, that being a father (like so many things in this life) is a balancing act.

Kudos to the ones trying, and even better, to the ones doing it right.