3 signs that could save your life.
WHEN YOU hang clothes on the line, you look for signs of rain. When you hear the garbage truck’s horn, you check for garbage. When your battery icon is low, you recharge your phone.
We know how to look out for signs and how to choose the correct response, to them. It might be useful for ladies to apply similar sk ills when entering relationships. Those skills may save your life. We share three signs to look for at the earliest stage of your interaction with a prospective partner.
SIGNS OF CONTROL
Violence and abuse are heavily anchored in the need for control – the need to own you. Consequently, it is important to carry out subtle tests to see if your courter is a potential control freak.
When invited out to a movie, do you have a say in the location or the choice of what to watch?
Test the waters by suggesting an alternative movie or location and watch closely for his reaction, or say that you would prefer to just sit on the veranda and talk. Look for signs of upset and frustration.
Exercise your right to free will and to make your own decisions. In those early days, look for signs of any tendency to limit your freedom. It is better to walk away too early than to suffer abuse or lose your life.
SIGNS OF JEALOUSY
Jealousy is another reason f or domestic violence and abuse. In the same way that an overcast sky points to rain, there are signs of impending jealousy. Test for signs of jealousy. It may save your life.
Arrange for a male friend to call you while in his presence. Take the call and speak in a relaxed manner. Nothing provocative! Also, don’t be impolite by speaking for a long time.
A warning sign would b if he asks who was calling. Frankly, it is none of his business.
It suggests a desire to control and the potential for jealousy. Do you want to spend the rest of your life having your calls screened and someone searching your mobile phone?
SIGNS OF ANGER
Fits of rage are another reason for abuse and domestic violence.
People are on their best behaviour during the early courting stages. You also hide your bad habits, so you can expect that he will try to show his good side.
To conduct the tests for anger, you may have to deliberately provoke him. It is best to carry out these tests in public. Closely monitor his expressions and body language.
You can start by disagreeing strongly with him on something he is passionate about. Ratchet up the discussion and see if he can keep control of his emotions. Getting into a temper does not necessarily mean that he will abuse you. However, you would be advised to conduct other anger-management experiments before getting deeply involved.
BOTTOM LINE
This is a call for you to be careful when entering relationships. Use your God-given gift to observe signs and take the appropriate actions. We have shared three signs. However, one critical test is whether the prospective partner has, fear of and respect for God.
We are not saying that there are no Christian abusers, however, fear and respect for God give you another lever to pull in a crisis. Test to see if he actively speaks to values outside of himself. Discuss the news and listen for positive signs of empathy, caring, self-sacrifice, integrity, loyalty, humility, and abhorrence of violence.
Simply Christians JA is an outreach ministry of the St Andrew Church of Christ. We meet on Sundays at 9 a.m. at 77 Red Hills Road, Kingston, Jamaica. Our website is: www.standrewchurchofchrist.org. E-mail: standrew_churchofchrist@minister.com. Phone: 876-925-3004 or 876-532-9891.