The Dayton vs Daryl dust-up
IT WASN’T even a nine-day wonder. Cho! Apologies and regrets have already been so thoroughly furnished that those of us who intended to enjoy the spectacle are out of luck. Even writing about it now, barely two weeks after, seems like talking about ancient history. Can we remedy this by getting back to the CRH debate? Tempers are sure to flare!
That parliamentary debate turned out to be one of those occasions where friends offering help were more of a hindrance. In particular, Daryl was like a drunken cowboy riding into the gunfight, six-shooter blazing, inadvertently shooting up his own side. For there isn’t a single soul in Christendom who looked at the attack on Dayton as anything but a deflection.
If I was on the fence about the need for a commission of enquiry into the CRH debacle before that performance, I’m convinced now!
One thinks immediately of when the police pulled over the half-drunk driver. The tipsy man is handling himself pretty well and might actually be sent along his way. That’s when his completely smashed bredrin awakens in the back seat and ‘helps’ by shouting, “A weh do dis eediat police bwoy doh? Leggo de man an’ mek wi goh which part wi a goh!”
Yeah, that kinda help is more likely to get you arrested, or, in this case, ‘resigned.’
I’ve watched footage of Dayton being restrained by colleagues, and it took me right back to fights at St George’s College. Obviously, you couldn’t lose face and back down, but since the potential punishment was so severe and the chance of maiming so high, the idea was to put on a good show more than go at it like a feral animal. Like in Parliament, fighting was as much a symbolic ritual as a breakdown of law and order.
So to accomplish the sacramental aim without serious injury, you needed prepared confederates who would ‘hol’ yuh back’ as you tried to charge your adversary. Here’s how: You make belligerent noises as if you’re rushing forward. Meanwhile you’re actually retreating, saying, “Hol’ mi! Hol’ mi! Hol’ mi!” This ruse permitted one to establish that you were willing and capable without you actually have to endure bruises, swollen eyes, detention and demerits.
SURVIVAL STRATEGY
Being younger and physically smaller than my class cohort’s average, this was a staple of my survival strategy. Dawg nyam yuh supper if the prearranged ‘help’ disappeared!
Anyhow, with my trained eye for these matters, I saw that Dayton wasn’t playing my ‘Hol’ mi’ game, but was actually trying to enter the ring to accept Daryl’s taunt to “take it outside”.
I sorely lament that the public was robbed of a proper Duke Street dustup. Dammit! In fact, on reflection, the bout should be rescheduled for Sam Sharpe Square so that in the event of a knockout or other incapacitation, CRH facilities would be the venue to recuperate.
That’s right. I’m propose a charity boxing match with proceeds dedicated to CRH. I’m even offering the preliminary analysis:
Daryl will have a few unpredictable moves. He has that air of efficiency and the not-inconsiderable talent of the tongue, so he could get into Dayton’s mind with pre-fight trash talk. There’s that psychological advantage that the verbal can impart. Plus, although I can’t really speak to how slippery he is, there’s copious evidence that he’s a survivor with a quick ability to recover from severe lashings.
Still, my money is on Dayton. Have you seen his size? He looks like he devoured a goat for breakfast, and although he speaks passionately about deprivations in his upbringing, I’ve secretly entertained doubts because he shows no physical developmental deficits.
So my prediction is prefaced purely on age and weight class: Daryl does minimal damage in the first and second rounds while shouting obscenities and threats but eats canvas in Round 3, emerging from the battle gasping for air like an employee of CRH.