A different path to motherhood
18-year-old becomes sole parent then adopts her 17-year-old cousin’s child
“I told my cousin that I would get a job to be able to care for the baby and would ask my mother and grandmoth er ” to assist me.
BECOMING A mother at age 18 could spell trouble for many Jamaicans, but that was the age at which Evena Graham took the bold decision to take custody of her cousin’s child, who was being put up for adoption.
Graham’s road to motherhood started when her cousin, Melissa*, who was one year younger than her, became pregnant during her final year in high school.
Three weeks later, Melissa gave birth to a girl, who she named Shauna*. On Evena’s suggestion, mother and child moved into Evena’s house in Samuel Prospect, Trelawny.
Evena developed an instant bond with the baby and helped to care for her. For about six months, Evena enjoyed having the mother and daughter in her home with no idea that the bond they had formed was on the verge of being broken.
“My cousin decided to give up the baby for adoption because she wanted her child to have the opportunity for a better life than she had. Also, Melissa wanted to return to school,” said Evena.
The news broke Evena’s heart as she considered that she might lose all links with Shauna after the adoption was completed.
Unable to deal with the possible separation, Evena offered to adopt the baby. Despite being aware of the challenges she would face, the unemployed teenager was determined to face the challenges of being a mother.
ADOPTION PROCESS
Evena started the process to adopt Shauna immediately but discovered that she would have to be at least 25 years old to do so. However, Evena still took over the day-to-day care of Shauna, and as soon as she reached 25, she made it official.
“I told my cousin that I would get a job to be able to care for the baby, and would ask my mother and grandmother to assist me,” said Evena, who was in her final year at Montego Bay Community College when she made the decision.
Fortunately, Evena found a job as a part-time cashier at a furniture store soon after graduating. She was later employed as a parttime teller at the Jamaica National Building Society, now JN Bank. Fourteen years later, she continues to work as a branch sales representative with the bank.
“I would not say that it was challenging or that I had to make sacrifices to raise Shauna because I was mentally prepared. Also, I never had a social life to give up because for me, it was always either school, church, or home,” said Evena.
“I was born into an extended household, therefore, I was able to receive assistance from my mother and grandmother. Looking back, I have no regrets about following through with my adoption of Shauna. If I had to turn back the hands of time, I would do the same thing,” she declared.
FOCUSED AND MATURE DEMEANOUR
Jacqueline Wray, Evena’s mother, said she had no second thoughts when Evena approached her with the idea of adopting Shauna.
“From she was very young, Evena had a focused and mature demeanour. I knew that she had the capability to care for a child, and, therefore, I didn’t want the youngster to be given up for adoption to someone outside of our family.”
Evena, who has no biological children, has never regretted her decision. Now almost 16 years old, Shauna is an ‘A’ student who is brilliant in mathematics; loves reading, cooking, and creating original recipes. Her career aspiration is to become an events planner.
“She calls me mommy and we are very close,” said Evena.
“We go everywhere together, and we love to watch movies together. She is an awesome youngster, who is very caring, helpful, and opinionated in a very polite way,” added Evena.
Melissa, who made the difficult decision to give up her child for adoption, is also happy about how the story has unfolded and is proud of Evena for shouldering such a major responsibility.
“It was a hard decision to give up my daughter for adoption, however, I wasn’t able to manage because I was too young at the time,” said Melissa.
“I’m grateful to Evena for what she did so that my daughter did not end up with a stranger because I am able to visit and talk with Shauna on the telephone. She is being well cared for and getting the opportunities that I had wanted for her when she was born,” added Melissa.
*Names changed on request.