A CHRISTMAS OF HER OWN
SHERYL FRANCIS* doesn’t share the usual fond childhood memories of laughter and lights during the Christmas season.
In fact, though an actual lover of the festive season, her celebration was stifled by her father’s beliefs that Christmas was a pagan holiday.
Remembering the days, Francis told Family & Religion that her mother was a staunch Baptist and her father by marriage, both very active in the ministry.
However, things changed in the household when her dad was influenced by Jehovah‘s Witnesses during one of their usual door-to-door visitations.
“He was told that other denominations were pagan and he was persuaded. Eventually, he became an elder and practised the faith rigidly. There was no Christmas music, decor, and no Christmas gathering, but he loved the season for the gungo peas, rice, ham, fruit cake, and sorrel. We had dinner, but my dad would have no mention of Christmas,” she said, adding that she was privy to special dresses during the season, though, because her mother was a dressmaker who loved seeing her only daughter dressed up.
BONDING WITH MOM
Francis recalled how much her mother meant to her and how they spent much time together.
According to her: “We enjoyed alternative fun (outside of the) home, but inside the home, it was dull and like a ghost town. She loved her Baptist church, later was ordained a deacon, so we did get a chance to sing carols and take part in religious Christmas activities, packaging tokens of appreciation for the underprivileged and welfare assisted members. Mom was a stalwart social worker, even gaining the Order of Distinction (Officer Class Merit), so there was always activity for alternative pleasure. But the truth is, home was dull and stiff. It was a ritual each year end of being watched by my father as to who would play disobedient to his rules. We do not celebrate Christmas in this home.”
The woman spoke of how homely her brother became after being forced to forego birthday parties and Christmas and being spanked with ‘the cane’ for not wanting to attend theocratic Bible study and meetings at the Kingdom Hall.
And as she became independent with age, Francis said that other hindrances arose that prevented her from celebrating as she would like.
“My husband would say how sad he feels at Christmas when he remembers his mother’s last breath on Christmas Day in the hospital, and I have respected that for years. Also, I’ve had to take care of my bed-ridden aunt since the nurses go home to celebrate the holidays with their families,” she lamented.
The now nearly 60-year-old woman said that this Christmas would be different.
“This year, I have decided to do me. I will be celebrating the season for the birth of Christ. I don’t care whether He was born in April, June, or July, and, of course, I’ll be bringing family together to bond and just to have fun.
“I have never bothered to decorate a tree for my home as I have never had that urge due to my controlled upbringing and having lived to please others.
“I’m still caring for my aunt as duty and love calls, so I’ve decided the better decision is to have a potluck Christmas dinner at my place. No longer am I putting Christmas-dinner-in-finestyle on hold.”
And, though Francis said that she would be decorating her church for the season, the woman admitted that she would not bother to do so at her home as she couldn’t get over her father pulling out the lights when they were older and braver to put up a tree.