So you’re a single mom on Mother’s Day
THIS MIGHT not be how you envisioned parenting. For whatever reason, you now carry the heavy load of raising well-adjusted children on your own. If this is your first Mother’s Day celebrating motherhood as a single mom, you might not know what to expect. Here are a few tips to ensure the day goes great. According to Monique Honaman, author of
The High Road Has Less Traffic, you first need to recognise who we celebrate. Mother’s Day is about celebrating you – the mother. The intent of the celebration holds no caveats about whether you are a single mom – or a married mom, or even a mom in the midst of divorce. Marital status has nothing to do with it. You are allowed to be celebrated and thanked for all you do for your children. No guilt. This is your day!
Second, manage your expectations. If the kids’ dad is no longer in the picture, and he used to be the one to remind them about Mother’s Day, and take them shopping to buy you a special card and gift, accept the reality, that probably isn’t going to happen this year. Instead, realign your expectations and create new ways to help prepare your kids for Mother’s Day. Your kids don’t want to feel like they missed Mother’s Day, just as much as you don’t want to miss being celebrated for all that you do. Depending on their ages, you might want to:
Give your kids a few dollars, and let them pick out a special card at the store.
Buy groceries to allow them to fix you a special dinner.
Teach them how to give you a nice back massage.
Do this as much for them as for you. Set a new routine.
Third, realign your role as mom. It’s easy to get off track in terms of being a really great role model of a mom for your kids due to the chaos of divorce and the stress of being a single mom. Take this day to reflect and perhaps realign your behaviour so that you are being the role model you want to be. Are you showing your kids a positive outlook or are you allowing negative emotions to get the best of you? Take inventory. Are you being the kind of mom you want your kids to celebrate? This is a great day to set a new course, if needed.
At the end of the day, you will still be mom, and still be responsible for all that being a mom entails. So celebrate like all the other moms because it’s definitely your day. Keep up the good work!