More training for parents, not criticisms

THESE DAYS, there is a great deal of focus and negative criticism regarding parents and their parenting skills. Social and mainstream media are abuzz, particularly since so much has been happening to the children lately.

Constructive criticism

Constructive criticism must always be accompanied with solutions to do it better. Most in our society today are quick to offer criticism but have no workable solutions. Very few can tell you how to do a thing, but are excellent fault-finders. Some criticise simply to display their knowledge and how much better they think they are at the subject. They want to show up the shortcomings of others. Many are critical of parents today, but how much better are they when in our society today, children are having children? Many talk about the failures of the parents, but who is training them how to be successful? For some who may have the know-how, it is all about money – so they charge a fee to pass on the information to those in need of help.

In some cases, within our classrooms today, children are teaching our children. So even their responses to situations that occur within the classroom are lacking in maturity.

Training versus teaching

Proverbs 22: 6 reminds us to train our children in the way they should go. The key word is to ‘train’ not ‘teach’, so it goes beyond imparting academic knowledge and includes wisdom, love, nurture, discipline and seeking to train according to the personality, gifts and aspirations of the child. In addition to all they are taught, they must be taught to be totally committed to God and steer clear of embracing other gods.

Titus 2 says the older women must teach the younger women and that the men are responsible for training the young men in the society. Furthermore, it says they must be taught proper values and attitudes, and the importance of maintaining good character. Many times we see popular persons being brought in to influence the morals, values and the ways of thinking of our youth, when they themselves need to be mentored and trained. We must recognise that popularity is not a synonym for good values.

We must train young/new parents, especially, how to identify dangerous and destructive habits, mindsets, attitudes, methods, as well as personalities that can destroy their children and stop them from accomplishing their purpose. Recognise two things – a good education has its foundations at home; and the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Children learn leadership, responsibility, accountability, good values, biblically based morals and love at home, and

it starts with the parents.

Embracing the right principles

Parents must ensure that their children are eating from the right tree – the right source – in order to ensure their spiritual safety and development. Biblical principles outline two trees in the garden (Genesis 2:9), so it is key to know the source of our children’s knowledge within society; for every child we lose, we also lose a great deal of significant resources.

Invest in their future

It is very important for parents to invest in the future of their children, not only in terms of paying for their education, but also by preserving their quality of life by knowing and understanding what threats are vying for their attention, and protecting them from harm.

Today, 22 per cent of kids between the ages of six and nine own cell phones. When they become tweens (nine-12), it rises to 60 per cent! This means even if your kids don’t have cell phones, some of their friends probably already have them. There are apps (applications) that are developed with that age group in mind which pull their attention away from face-to-face interaction with their parents.

Parents need to be aware of this and know that there are some very dangerous apps they need to ensure their children avoid. Shamchat, Kik, Snapchat, Tik Tok, Whisper, ASKfm, YikYak, Vine, Down, Tinder, Blendr, Grindr, Poof – used to hide other apps – and Badoo. These are only a few from the myriad of apps available that can endanger our children in many ways.

We need to set up centres to train parents and children on:

■ The importance and value of money. (How not to waste it.)

■ Values and attitudes.

■ Independence, self-reliance and

entrepreneurship.

■ Abstinence and the importance

of marriage.