The Star (Jamaica)

Woman claims she’s 6 days pregnant

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What’s up, my peeps? Thanks for continuing to tune in to Fass & Curious because yuh done know your girl Gossipchic­a got yuh on lock. Big up to all the peeps who emailed. Your comments are always welcomed!

So fi di longest while I haven’t laughed this hard ‘cause I never hear of this one yet. Question: Can someone know for sure the next day that she is pregnant after one night? Is it a new thing that I don’t know about? No, unuh don’t laugh. You know how they always coming up with some new crap like lace eyelash, ready-made sew-in weave, fake vagina and bum, and so on and so forth? Me a one of the last smaddy to always know about these things, so me honestly a ask unuh!

The other day me fass inna smaddy conversati­on a ‘Panish Town’, and as I listened, my belly bottom literally hurt me because at the time, I wanted to laugh so hard, but because no one was talking to me and the place did hot, I never want to get in any trouble. This woman was telling her friend how a man she talking to a tell her about a girl he had a fling with and this is what happened.

She said the man called her and said, “Babes, me can talk to yuh bout supm?”

“Yeah man, yuh know yuh can tell me anything!” she replied.

He continued, “Yuh know say the other day when I tell yuh not to come here is because wah idiat gal did fi come here. She tek me fi fool, so me did have to invite her back a me yard fi a last time. Hear dis: me carry har home, zeen, and we gwan wid a ting. Inna di morning, me in the kitchen a mek breakfast. She run go in the bathroom and a gwan like she a vomit. When me go in dere and ask har what happen to har, she say she pregnant. Inna my head me a say, ‘Watch dis idiat. She nuh know say me use condom.’ Me nuh say nutten enuh, babes, me just go with har flow. She say she want to go doctor and me must give her money. Anyways, she claim she never go same time, so after she go, she call me say doctor said she six days pregnant!!!”

GAVE HER THE PRESENT

As the woman spoke, she started laughing. She continued quoting the man.

“Me say babes, what a woman wicked! Me go in the trash can and take out di condom and full it a water and wrap it up say when she come me ago show har. Furthermor­e, smaddy cya pregnant after one night! KMT! When she come, I carry har in the bathroom and give her the present and just start done har. Me tell her come outa me house and nuh call back me phone!”

The woman relating the incident was out of breath as she laughed and tried to sound like the man. She continued to tell her friend how she trouble the man about his “babymother” at times just to get him mad.

Walk good yah! Stargossic­hica@gmail.com

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