Wife fantasises about sex with her co-worker

Dear Pastor, I am a regular reader of your column, and I commend you on the professional advice that you always give. I am a married Christian man in my 30s and my wife is in her 20s. We have been married for almost six years now. The concern I have is that my wife told me that she often fantasises about having sex with a co-worker, someone she said she finds attractive and spend a long time with him at work every now and then, talking about general stuff.

We have a great sex life. She said she only fantasises about him when she feels for sex and I am far away. She told me she has flirted with him on many occasions. We had some discussions about that, and she stopped. I told her to fantasise about me, but she said it does not feel as exciting as when she is fantasising about her co-worker.

Deep down inside, that affects my manhood. She said she flirts because she is insecure about her looks. I think she is naturally beautiful. She said I am supposed to say that, but I still try to tell her every day. We made a vow to tell each other everything and that has been going good so far. I don’t know how to interpret our situation, and I don’t want to say the wrong thing and end up putting any strain on the vows that we have made.

Your advice is very important. Thank you in advance.

V. C. Dear V.C., Your wife can only fool you, and she is doing so because she believes that you are not intelligent. She thinks that you are a fool. She is a married woman and yet she says that she fantasises over a co-worker; and to fantasise about you is not as enjoyable as when she fantasises about the co-worker.

It is not for me to judge her, but a man does not have to have the biggest brain in town to suspect that this woman loves her co-worker more than you. And, it is likely that she has already carried out her fantasies with this man. That is how it appears to me. I don’t believe I am wrong.

This man has already picked the ‘cherry’ and your wife has enjoyed it, and she wants more. She is not a good woman. Be prepared for the day when she could walk away from you. If she stays with you, it would only be for convenience.

I have told you how I see it. I hope you won’t be mad at me.

Pastor