LIFE HAS BEEN A MESS SINCE DAD LEFT

Dear Pastor, I am having a problem. When I was about three years old and my brother was a year old, my father’s hand was chopped off by my mother’s sweetheart.

My father left Jamaica shortly after the incident and went to live in Canada, and we have not seen him since. My mother took us to Manchester, where she gave me up for adoption.

I was placed with a very nice family and I was very happy. I had it all, until my mother came back for me.

We lived in Manchester for a while, and then we moved back to St Catherine and everything went wrong.

I don’t know what changed my mother, but she was not the same person. We hardly went to school, so I cannot read or write properly.

Our life got very rough, so she took us to stay with our aunt, who ill-treated us. My brother and I were very unhappy. When my mother took food and clothes for us, we never received anything.

We had to hunt for food like animals. We slept in a cave. Our mother heard about what was happening and came back for us.

But she started abusing us. She worked us very hard. We had to burn charcoal instead of going to school.

It was like that for years. I got frustrated and angry, and I felt like no one cared. It was at that time I felt the need for a father. I asked my mother about him and she told me that he had died and was buried at Dovecot.

My brother and I decided to visit his grave, but I could not find it.

Fortunately for us, one of the workmen knew our parents and told us that our father was living in a foreign country.

Pastor, we miss the father we know nothing about. I only heard that my brother and I look very much like him. His name is Clive Claude Hickling.

My mother turned me out of the house at age 14. I had nowhere else to go and no one to turn to. I was young and vulnerable.

I got involved with a young man and ended up pregnant. During the pregnancy, my mother treated me badly. She locked me out of the house and beat me with boards and machetes. I had my son; he is now four years old. I got a job doing domestic work, but lost it because my mother kept calling the house and asking for money. She was taking care of the baby at the time. When I went back home, I found out that my mother had sold all the things that my babyfather bought for the baby. I was there until the money I had ran out. She ran me out of the house again.

MORE STRESS

I went to live with my child’s father and got pregnant again. His mother said that the baby was not for her son and this added more stress to my life.

I had another son and soon after, my babyfather and I began quarrelling and fighting. I got chickenpox and he scorned me, so I moved out and went back to my mother’s house.

She treated me kindly, but soon after she returned to her old self.

I moved out of the house again and began talking to a young man who promised he would help me and the children.

We lived together for a while until I found out that he was cheating on me. I spoke to him about it, but he abused me so badly I had to leave him.

I went to live on the street because I had nowhere else to turn.

I met another man, who took me off the street, but how can I learn to trust another man when other men have treated me so badly?

I need to go back to school, but I don’t know how to start because I am not working. I am 21 and looking for help. Anyone knowing my father, could you please help me to find him?

C.H. Dear C.H., I am touched by your letter. Unfortunately, you have been moving from one relationship to the other. I hope that God will help you to settle down. I do not wish to say anything bad about your mother.

She seems to be confused, too. I wish to encourage you to put your confidence in God and to try your best not to have any more children.

I send an SOS for your father, Clive Claude Hickling. Wherever you are, please respond.

Pastor