Dumped by my dishonest boyfriend

Dear Pastor, I am a 19-year-old female living in London. I have lived in London all my life. On my 18th birthday, I met a Jamaican guy on the bus. We exchanged numbers and started having conversations over the phone.

He asked me to come over for a drink at his flat. At first I refused, but the third time he asked, I decided to go. One thing led to another, and we had sexual intercourse. The second time I went to visit him, he told me that he lied about his age. He wasn’t 22 but actually 26 years old. I told him I don’t want a relationship with someone his age, and he told me that at my age, I need a man not a boyfriend.

Anyway, after being together for a year, the relationship started to go bad. He started ignoring my calls, and made various excuses. If I rang his phone from a private number, he would pretend as if he was talking to one of his work mates.

During Christmas, he never rang or visited me. I tried ringing his phone, and it was constantly turned off or I received no answer. In January, I decided to ring him and find out what was actually going on. He was trying to say that everything was honky – dory even though it wasn’t. I asked him what was wrong with our relationship. He replied that he was at a point in his life where he had no time for me and that we should forget each other and move one. I said, “Fine”.

On Valentine’s Day, I received a text from him wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day. I found this text a month later, so I ignored it.

Pastor, my problem is I really want to forget about him, but it seems really hard. I can’t believe that he told me I was special to him and he would never leave me. It goes to show that words are basically wind.

Pastor, please advise me on what to do. Thank you. S.S. Dear S.S., As you grow older, you will discover that some men are liars. They have a real weakness of character. As you can see, he used you and dumped you, so to speak. He is probably looking around now for another innocent victim. He is tired of you. I am sorry you made the mistake by visiting him, and yielding to his advances. Of course, you believed that he was speaking the truth and that he thought you were special.

I am really sorry, but I have to tell you that you have to consider this as a very bad experience. When you went to his house, he interpreted that to mean that you were comfortable with him and that both of you could seal the relationship by having sex, and you felt that you had known him long enough to trust him.

He has let you down. He walked like a pussy cat for a long time, and now that he has gotten what he wanted, he has walked away. Don’t try to get him back. He will continue to hurt you. Consider this whole thing a mistake.

Pastor