Boyfriend won’t open up to me

Dear M.L., You say that you are 15 years old, but the last paragraph of your letter indicates that you are very mature and experienced. You said you feel rejected and unloved. I am sorry to hear that you feel tormented and that you are not experiencing the love of your parents.

I don’t take what you have said lightly at all. I believe that you need help. Perhaps you need to sit with a counsellor who is a Christian and tell him/her how you feel and ask him/her to give you guidance and to pray for you. Prayer can be very powerful.

I do not know what type of church you attend, but in the Book of James, believers are encouraged to call for the elders of the church and let the elders pray for them for their healing. You might not be physically ill, but you need healing of the mind. I will be praying for you, but you do need to find a counsellor who would help you further.

I hope that you are not having any struggle with a man. You are only 15, so I hope that you are focusing on your schoolwork and that you are not emotionally involved with any man. Nevertheless, I thank you for expressing yourself on how you feel about relationships. I trust that you will never be promiscuous. Again, I will be praying for you. – Pastor Dear Pastor, I have a boyfriend who is living in the States. We’ve been together for about five months now. He has a daughter. In the beginning, we were going strong about everything. I even fell in love with him in the space of three months. But since the beginning of January, he has gotten distant. He doesn’t call anymore. Whenever I text him, he responds within two hours.

I brought forward the problem at hand, and his response was that he is going through a lot. He hasn’t been talking to me about any of this. Everything has been going downhill for us, but I want to stop the habit of walking away whenever difficult times arise. I am only human though, and I have emotional needs.

From a male perspective, what do you think could be the possible cause of the shift? And what advice do you have for me?

K.R. Dear K.R., What shift are you talking about? This relationship is long-distance, and a long-distance relationship can be very stressful. This man does not tell you about all his problems. Perhaps he does not feel that he should. Both of you don’t even know each other very well. The relationship is only five months old.

My suggestion, therefore, is that you give this relationship more time to grow and try your best not to turn off this man by being bossy.

– Pastor