Get sex out of the way early

Dating is something that so many singles fear. It is especially daunting for the single person whose last relationship was a few years ago and who has gotten so used to being by themselves, that they have developed some habits that make them challenging to be with. I recently had a very enlightening conversation with a group of young men in their 20s, and they had some very interesting ideas, which made me pause and really think about their perspective.

One such idea that stood out was something that Brian said.

“When I meet a girl that I like, we must have sex the same day. What’s the point of waiting? I need to get it out of the way so we can get to know each other.”

Of course, I was very intrigued by his premise, so much so that I spent some time thinking about it. He may be on to something.

Think about it. How many times have you spent weeks and even months with someone just getting to know them better, only to realise after sex that you’re not sexually compatible with this person?

With his logic, you could have saved all that time and money if the sex had happened on the first day. Actually, the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

Getting sex out of the way immediately answers some questions, and it takes away the need to use sex as a tool to manipulate. So many relationships are starting out with physical attraction, so that’s something to start with. Also, sexual tension will not be an issue. Of course, it’s not all good news; there’s always the risk that after the sex, the relationship will not go any further. This can be exhausting after several failed attempts.

The truth is, deciding when to have sex for the first time in a relationship is a personal decision, and it will be influenced by several factors. At the end of the day, it is something that both partners should definitely discuss and agree on. In the meantime, I encourage single people to continue putting themselves out there. Go on dates, meet new people, and whether or not you find a mate, make sure that you have fun. And if you choose to get sexual on the same day you meet someone, please use some protection. Have fun and stay sexy.

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or Tweet me @drsexyann. You can also find me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/allaboutthesexy Website: www.drsexyann.com