I want my friend to carry my baby

Dear Pastor, This is the second time I am writing to you and I need your fatherly advice.

I am 40 years old and I am married, but my husband and I do not have children.

My husband has provided everything for me that a woman could want, but I cannot give him children.

We have been married for 11 years and we have gone to many doctors.

I have finally decided that I will not do any of the operations that the doctors suggested that I do.

A girlfriend of mine and I are very close. She has one child for her boyfriend, but both of them are not getting along.

I asked her whether she would consider being a surrogate mother and she took it as a big joke.

But since she has come to realise that I am serious, she raised the matter with me again.

She said that she would do it, but she doesn’t know how I would feel to have my husband having sex with her.

She said that we are friends and I am the one who is asking her to get involved with him. She would not have to have sex with him.

My husband is not a beggar. He tells me that he wants me to be happy.

Nothing will make me happier than to have a child, and my friend told me that she would not even give the child her breasts to bond with him or her.

My husband has started to joke about it and saying that he is going to have two women in his life.

We have not discussed any payment, but my husband said that if it works, he will consider buying her a house. I beg you not to condemn me.

What do you think about what I have said? Over to you, pastor.

P.B. Dear P.B., I thank you for your letter and I would urge you to discuss this matter with your doctor.

I understand how difficult it has been for you, but your husband and your are eager to have a child and evidently, you have not decided to go the route of adoption.

I believe that it would be very wrong for me to condemn what your husband and your wish to do.

So, make sure that you receive adequate counselling, all three of you; and, if you are fully satisfied that this is the way to go, I could only wish you well.

Make no arrangement without the input of a lawyer, because this kind of service can become very complicated and problematic.

Pastor