My abu­sive man is threat­en­ing to kill me

The Star (Jamaica) - - THE WEEKEND STAR PASTOR -

Dear Pas­tor, My story is very long, but I would like you to hear all of it and give me your ad­vice. I am in my early 20s, and I have a prob­lem. I met this guy when I was 17 years old, and we have been to­gether since I was 18. I used to go to his house ev­ery other week­end. He lives with his mother, fa­ther, sis­ter, brother, niece and nephew, and they were very un­kind, so I was very un­com­fort­able there. One day, the mother said in front of my boyfriend and I that his ex-girl­friend was the best woman and he would never get a woman like her again. I didn’t say any­thing. The sis­ter and the brother have the habit of us­ing and eat­ing my things with­out my per­mis­sion, which I didn’t like, but I wouldn’t say any­thing. One day, the sis­ter ate all my food and I spoke to her in a re­spect­ful way and told her not to do it again. She ar­gued and said that I should not come to their house again. I went home and never re­turned; only to col­lect my things. I was not see­ing my boyfriend for a while, only on the road, be­cause I was liv­ing with my un­cle, and he couldn’t visit. He went and lived with an­other woman, and I was heart­bro­ken. I stayed to my­self.

About a year after he and the lady broke up, I met a very nice guy, and when he knew we were to­gether, he tried to come back in my life. I al­ways said that I would give him an­other chance be­cause when ev­ery­one turned their backs on me, he was the only one who was there for me. I re­gret that de­ci­sion when we got back to­gether.


I went back to live with my mother, and he came and stayed for days un­til it be­came per­ma­nent. He is a very jeal­ous man, and he al­ways flirt with girls. He started to abuse me phys­i­cally and ver­bally. He cheated with an un­der­age girl in the com­mu­nity, and I found out after he de­nied it over and over. I told him I could not for­give him and he should move on. He said he is not mov­ing on and that I only want him to move out be­cause I have an­other man. But that is not true.

I don’t de­serve to be liv­ing like this, and that is why I told him so. He con­tin­ued to do wrong things, and I de­cided that I am go­ing to take out a re­strain­ing or­der against him be­cause he doesn’t want to leave my home. That is from July and he is still at my house now. He threat­ens to kill me if I call the po­lice.

T.F. Dear T.F., If you se­ri­ously wanted this man to leave your house, it would have been done. You said you took out a re­strain­ing or­der against him, but he is still at your house. Some­thing is not right. If you se­ri­ously don’t want this man around, get the po­lice to help you. You said he has promised to kill you. The po­lice should be made aware of his threats. Right now you are all mixed up, and you are al­low­ing men to use you. You have to be de­ter­mined not to al­low men to use you. I fur­ther sug­gest that you talk to a lawyer about this mat­ter. Pas­tor

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