Cheated on my hus­band with my first baby­fa­ther

The Star (Jamaica) - - THE WEEKEND STAR PASTOR -

Dear Pas­tor, I am 35. I have two chil­dren and I am mar­ried. I am liv­ing with my hus­band. My sec­ond child is ours, but my first child was by a man I went to school with.

He went away, but he did not know that he had got me preg­nant. When I heard from him I was about six months preg­nant.

He told his mother about the sit­u­a­tion and they bought me baby stuff and treated me very well.

Af­ter I had the baby we con­tin­ued to cor­re­spond, but I met an­other man who be­came my hus­band. Pas­tor, I do not love my hus­band as much as I love this man.

My hus­band treats me well. He is a good provider. But some­times when I think of this other guy, I cry and I ask my­self why life is so cruel and why did he have to leave me and go abroad.

Last De­cem­ber, I got a call from this man say­ing that he was com­ing to Ja­maica and he would like to see me. He came to Ja­maica and was stay­ing at his mother’s house.

When I went there to see him, my heart was beat­ing very fast. I was speech­less, and found out that I was still in love with him.

I was afraid to tell my hus­band that I Dear T.P., The love that you have for this man never died, and although both of you have been apart from each other for a very long time, when you met again the love sparkled in the heart.

It was just a mat­ter of time be­fore both of you had sex. Now you would un­der­stand the say­ing, “Old fire stick easy to catch”.

What are you go­ing to do? This man wants you to leave your hus­band, and he would marry you and take you to saw him but when my son came home, he told his brother that he saw his fa­ther and I saw him, too.

My hus­band asked me where I saw him and I told him I went to his mother’s house. My hus­band was not pleased.

I had ar­ranged with him to see him again. So I went back to his mother’s house, where the both of us were alone.


He kissed me and I be­came so ner­vous, I lost con­trol and he just pushed up the door and we had sex.

That was the first and only time I cheated on my hus­band. I did not know that it was so easy to cheat.

My hus­band tells me that I am not act­ing right with him. This man has gone back to the US and I am do­ing my best to please my hus­band.

Even the neck­lace he bought for me, I will not wear be­cause my hus­band would want to know whether I bought it.

I don’t want to leave my hus­band. The guy told me that he is di­vorced.

I don’t want to break up my mar­riage, but he told me that he would marry me and take me away. Do you think that is a good idea? T.P. the US. That is too big a risk to take.

Yes, it is true that both of you have a child to­gether, but your hus­band has not done you any wrong.

How can you be sure about this man? You don’t know what type of life he is liv­ing in the US. What you need now is for­give­ness for what you have done.

I can­not en­cour­age you to tell your hus­band what has hap­pened between you and this man. But you can surely talk to God about it.

You should only com­mu­ni­cate to this man about your son. Don’t meet with him again un­less lots of peo­ple are around; you have al­ready made a very big mis­take. Your hus­band sensed that some­thing was wrong.

He knows you and he knows the way you were be­hav­ing was not nor­mal.


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