Girl­friend’s par­ents think I’m not good for her

The Star (Jamaica) - - PASTOR THE WEEKEND STAR -

Dear Pas­tor, I am a re­cent grad­u­ate from univer­sity. I am strug­gling with a prob­lem. My girl­friend grad­u­ated two years ago.

We have our prob­lems, but our prob­lems don’t come between us for long. Some­times I feel that I am not good enough for her be­cause she is from the mid­dle class and I am not.

I used to have to go on the road with my mother and help her do ‘hig­g­ler­ing’. But I am very proud of who I am, and my mother and fa­ther are very proud of me, too.

When I started to go on the road to help my mother, I wasn’t shy any­more. I used to be very shy, but with the hus­tling I did on the road, I learnt to not be shy any­more.

When I ap­proached my girl­friend and told her that I loved her, she said I had noth­ing to of­fer her, and that other guys loved her and she turned them down.

I told her it is true that I have noth­ing to of­fer but pure love, and all she had to do was to give me a chance.

Well, she has given me a chance. But now that I have grad­u­ated, I am very anx­ious. I have a job, but the Dear B.H, You love this girl very much and she loves you, but it is un­likely that she is go­ing to go against her par­ents and give this re­la­tion­ship her best shot.

She be­lieves that she be­longs to a class that you would never reach. So although she is very friendly and lov­ing, she has been taught to look for a part­ner who would keep her so­cial stand­ing high.

Class is im­por­tant to her and to her par­ents. Although this girl loves you, she knows that you would never be ac­cepted in her fam­ily. money is small.

My girl­friend’s par­ents know that we go out some­times, but she tells me that they don’t ex­pect her to marry me.

I asked her why we couldn’t get mar­ried and she said it is be­cause her par­ents are prej­u­diced. I used to think that peo­ple are prej­u­diced be­cause of colour but that is not so with my girl­friend.

PREJ­U­DICE

I am not a very dark per­son, nei­ther are they, so this is not a colour ‘busi­ness’; it is be­cause I am not in their class.

They would rank me as the lower class although I am a univer­sity grad­u­ate.

My girl­friend is try­ing to help me to get a good job so that I can pull my­self up the lad­der.

Do you think that I should bother with this re­la­tion­ship? I have never loved any­body as I love this girl.

When­ever I see her par­ents they greet me well. But my girl­friend says they are hyp­ocrites; they re­ally don’t like me. I would like your opin­ion.

B.H.

There­fore, I would sug­gest that you do not waste any more time with her.

Per­haps what you have to do is to play hard to get now. Let her be the one to chase af­ter you, if she is re­ally in­ter­ested in you.

Your mother did hig­g­ler­ing and that is not some­thing to be ashamed of. But this girl’s par­ents are likely to re­mind her that you have not come from the mid­dle class.

Your mother was just a hig­gler, so they do not ex­pect her to marry a man who is a hustler on the street with his mother.

Pas­tor

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