My niece said my husband got her pregnant
Dear Pastor, This is my second letter to you. I don’t know if my first letter was published, I didn’t sign it. It was signed ‘depressed’. Well, I am so depressed. I have been married for 17 years, and my husband and I have three children together. Everything was going well in my family until my niece came to live and work with us. She was only 19 years old and living in the country. She was not working or attending school.
Although we have a helper’s room, we did not make her sleep there. We treated her as a part of the family and had her sleep with our daughter, who is seven years old. She had her own bed and our daughter had her bed. She took care of the house, and she washed and ironed. She was not good at cooking, but she was learning. She used to eat a lot.
She became close to my husband, but I never thought they were having an affair. I didn’t see anything going on between them to make me suspect them. She was respectful to him. She called him ‘sir’. Then I observed that she was not looking right and complaining that she was feeling ill. I asked her what the problem was, she said nothing. Then a few days after she was not feeling well, I told her that she should go to the doctor. I said it to my husband and he offered to take her. I still didn’t take that to mean anything.
My husband gave her $6,000 to go to the doctor. When she came back, she told me that the doctor said nothing was wrong with her. Then a few days after when I was at work, she packed her bags and went back to her mother in the country. She told her mother that the doctor said she is pregnant. It was my husband who got her pregnant and he wanted her to do an abortion, but she was afraid. Her mother said that when she came to live with us she was a virgin, but my husband took her virginity. She said he used to go into her room when I was not there and when our daughter was asleep.
My husband calls her a liar. He said that he never had sex with her. But I am worried, because my husband is a very respectable man and is well known. I don’t know what to believe. What should I do, pastor?
R.A. Dear R.A., You wouldn’t have to wait a long time to find out the truth. Your husband calls this girl a liar. In a few months, the truth will be known after the child is born. A DNA test can be done, and the truth will be revealed. You want to believe your husband, but at the same time you know that it is quite possible that the young woman could be speaking the truth.
You describe your husband as a respectable man, but sometimes respectable men and women do go out of line and get themselves into trouble. And if your husband is guilty of impregnating this girl, he should come clean and tell you the truth.
I hope you will not curse this girl and call her bad, etc. If you see her as a bad girl, you would also have to believe that your husband is bad too, because he ‘jumped the fence’ and got involved with her. If the child the girl is carrying is fathered by your husband, see to it that he supports the child.
Your husband has disgraced himself. Regardless of what he says, if he is guilty he shows that he doesn’t respect you. He should have never had sex with your niece.