Boyfriend promised to marry me if I got preg­nant

The Star (Jamaica) - - The Weekend Star Pastor -

Dear Pas­tor,

I am writ­ing to you with tears in my eyes. I am 25 years old and I am preg­nant. But my boyfriend says he is not ready to get mar­ried. Be­fore I got preg­nant, he was al­ways say­ing that he would marry me if he could be sure that I can have a child. I used to live with a man, and this man never used the con­dom, so I thought that I could not get preg­nant.

When I met this man and fell in love with him, I left my for­mer boyfriend. From the day we met and started to have sex, we did not use the con­dom. So, he al­ways says to me that the only cri­te­ria he has for mar­riage is that I would get preg­nant. I be­lieved him. I work in a bar and many guys see me and love me, but I never got in­volved with them. My boyfriend used to come to the bar and drink, and he al­ways said that he loves me.

Fi­nally, we went on a date and he took me to his home. I did not be­lieve that he was liv­ing alone. I asked him about his woman, and he said that she was not liv­ing in Ja­maica, so I de­cided to try out the re­la­tion­ship. When I told the man that I was deal­ing with that I was go­ing to leave him, he did not be­lieve. I left in peace. He told me that if that was what I wanted to do, he would not stop me. He told me to take what­ever I wanted, so I took the bed we used to sleep on and the stove, which was new.


The man who I am now preg­nant for didn’t want any­thing be­cause his house was fur­nished. I took the bed and stove to my mother’s house. I also took a stool that my boyfriend used to sit on and make love to me.

Pas­tor, I don’t know what to do be­cause this man is telling me now that I should wait on him. Don’t you think he is un­fair to me?


ei­ther, be­cause you were liv­ing with a man for many years and both of you were hav­ing un­pro­tected sex and you were un­able to get preg­nant. This new boyfriend be­lieves that you were in­fer­tile, so he could just have fun and noth­ing would hap­pen.

You are for­tu­nate that he has not said that the child you are car­ry­ing is not his. How­ever, there is ab­so­lutely noth­ing that you can do to force this man to marry you. As I write, I am won­der­ing whether this man still has a doubt in his mind that he im­preg­nated you and whether he is wait­ing un­til you have given birth to see whether the child re­sem­bles him or some­one from his fam­ily. Maybe that will make him feel sure that he is the fa­ther.

I hope that he would marry you. But after you have giv­ing birth, re­mem­ber that you should not have un­pro­tected sex with him any­more, be­cause he is not a man who keeps his word.


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