He only married me to get papers

Dear Pastor,

I am 46 and I live in the Caribbean. I was in a committed relationship for six years with my man. I found out that he had been cheating on me with a younger woman. She was 24.

He swore that he had broken up with her. We even went to New York on vacation together to work on our relationship and to try and find out what might have caused the cheating.

I then found out that the young woman was pregnant. He admitted to me that he slept with her the day before we left for New York.

That took a toll on me. I was hurt because he knew my past, and he also knew that my ex-husband slept with my best friend and got her pregnant.

He ended our marriage to be with my best friend. I was sad for months. Then I met a young man from Jamaica. He was 23.

But when we started to talk he told me he was 28, but afterwards admitted the truth. The way he presented himself to me, he appeared very mature.

We ended up sleeping together and I started to develop feelings for him. I knew the age difference, but it was like I couldn’t help myself.

He was due to return to Jamaica last May and we met in the first week of January 2019. I did not want him to leave. I felt as though I loved him. We decided to get married.

AGE DIFFERENCE

He introduced me to his mother, who said that as long as he was happy, she did not care about the age difference. Soon after the first month of marriage, things changed.

Gone was the maturity. He started playing video games all day and was not acting as responsible as he used to. He left his job. I became frustrated.

He stopped having sex with me often. He started acting as if he was scorning me or hated me.

We argued and he started telling me many hurtful things, like that he wanted to be in an old woman’s private part all the time. I was shocked.

I have a good job at a prestigious institution. I felt hurt and betrayed. The insults became worse until he started insulting my sons, who do not live with me.

He admitted to me that he only married me for his papers so that he could remain in the US. I have made plans to move out and go back to living on my own.

I still applied for his extension and for his

Dear Confused and Hurt, Evidently, this young man didn’t have proper upbringing. We cannot print some of the things he said to you. This ‘boy’ is out of order, disrespectful and rude.

Your friends have not given you bad advice. Your heart is very soft, and it is unfortunate that you married him even after you found out that he had lied to you about his age.

You made a big mistake. When you were trying to speak to him and you discovered that he had no respect for you, you probably should not have gone further in the relationship.

Madam, you will never be happy with this man. I therefore suggest that you make an appointment to see a lawyer. My prayers are with you.

Pastor