Hooked up with a ‘badman’ after getting bun

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. When I was younger and reading your column, I used to think that certain things happen to people because they are not smart.

I started to have sex when I was 18 and my boyfriend at that time was 41. He always had the condom with him. We had sex a couple of times without it, but right away he gave me money to buy the morning-after pills.

Two of my friends got pregnant the very year we were graduating from high school. I laughed at them and told them they were not smart.

When I was graduating, my boyfriend provided everything for me because my parents couldn’t afford it. He even bought a dress for my mother to wear to the graduation.

At my graduation, there was a girl there who was his girlfriend but I did not know about her. After the graduation, I wanted him to take me out and he started to tell me why he couldn’t go. The reason he couldn’t go was because the other girl wanted to be with him.

I went and sat in his car, and it was when this girl came into the car I found out that she, too, was his girlfriend. He told me he would take me home and pick me up later.

I agreed, but he never came. He turned off his phone and never answered. He did not show up either.

When I saw him the next day, he was telling me all types of lies. Then I asked him if he went out with the girl and he said no.

That girl now has a child for him and she is giving me hell. She is texting me and telling me to leave her man.

I got involved with another man, but he is threatening me. This guy is a badman. I don’t want this guy to hurt my boyfriend because I still love him.

I am hurt because he got the other girl pregnant and she is showing off on me. Although I am with this badman, I don’t love him as much as the other guy.

Sometimes I feel so confused; I don’t know what to do.

U.L.

Dear U.L.,

You are a young girl; use your time and energy to get a good education. This man with whom you were having sex evidently loves you, but he got mixed up with another woman.

And now that this woman is pregnant, she feels that she has a big claim on his life. He was not as careful with her as with you.

He didn’t want you to get pregnant, but he got the other girl pregnant, and this girl is not prepared for you to have any claim on him.

You didn’t have to take up yourself with this ‘badman’ because right now you are making yourself very cheap. You are going to get yourself into trouble.

Right now, it is better to stay by yourself and not to be involved with any man at all.

Pastor