Scared to tell anyone that I was raped

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and I am pregnant. I had sex with my boyfriend and then I got raped.

I know it is my boyfriend who got me pregnant because the guy who raped me put on a condom. I did not have consensual sex with this guy.

It was a guy who forced himself on me and did not take no for an answer. He put on a condom while I was telling him no.

He is a friend of my sister’s boyfriend. He and I were at the house alone. I hate this guy, but I have not told my boyfriend about it.

Sometimes it bothers me when I think of what happened to me. If I should tell my boyfriend that this guy forced me into having sex, he would blame me. My boyfriend knows him well. Nobody knows that I was raped. When the guy was forcing himself on me, I told him I was pregnant, and he said nothing was wrong if both of us had sex.

My boyfriend carries a licensed firearm. If I had told him what happened, I just don’t know what he might have done. So, I said nothing.

My boyfriend says that we will get married as soon as our child reaches about three years old. Nobody knows about the rape and I know this guy did not pass on any sickness to me.

And another thing, my boyfriend might not stay with me if I tell him that this guy forced himself on me. What do you think?

T.L.

Dear T.L.,

I understand your reasoning, but I really don’t agree. I believe that every rape should be reported and the accused arrested and tried. Rape is a serious offence.

And although I understand that there was a risk in your boyfriend leaving you or going after the rapist, I believe that you should have taken that risk.

I must confess that sometimes you use the word rape and at another time you say you were forced. Just bear in mind that if a woman does not give consent to sex, it is rape.

The sex you had with that man was not consensual.

I hope everything will go well with you, that you would have a safe delivery and a healthy baby. Try to protect yourself from these two-footed beasts that are around.

Many of these men are beasts in human form. So, be careful, protect yourself and take care of yourself always.

Pastor