Wife wanted nice furniture, now we’re broke

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem and I am writing to you about it. I am married and my wife and I do not have children. At present, she is expecting.

Before we got married, she was living with her parents. She has a job, but she has a student loan to pay, and I do also.

We got an apartment and my wife insisted that she wanted new furniture. I knew we couldn’t afford it, but she insisted that a newly married couple should have new things.

I went along with her because her family, including an older sister, were pushing her. They went to a popular store and took out a living room set, stove and refrigerator. When I came home, the place was decked out and my wife was very happy.

Then we saw that there were other expenses that our pay could not meet. My wife has become a grumbler and is pressuring me to get a second job.

Pastor, I am so tired that when I go to bed, I fall asleep and can’t even provide what she wants of me.

We are in debt up to our necks and not one of her siblings would help us.

I tried to borrow money from my father and he told me that I should allow the store to take back some of these things, and that we should try to live within our means.

Now that a child is on the way, my wife has become so depressed.

I am asking you if you would make the time and talk to us. We need some encouragement. Whenever my wife’s friends come to see her, they are always praising her for her nice apartment. Kindly tell us when we can see you for a counselling session.

Keep up the good work.

T.A.

Dear T.A.,

It is very sad that your wife and yourself have got yourselves into serious debt. Your wife would not listen to you and perhaps you were not very firm. You cannot always please a woman even if she is your wife. You are responsible for your wife.

She did not understand that both of you should have made a budget and live within that budget, and not spend more than what you earn. Plainly speaking, you should not blame your wife only for the mess you have found yourself in.

When you came home and you saw the beautiful items that were bought on hire purchase, you should have returned them to the store. Since you did not do that and you allowed everything to remain at the house, you must also bear the blame. I don’t care what anybody says. I am going to tell you something from my heart. I believe that hire purchase is a scheme to keep people poor.

When a man agrees with a store to buy an item on hire purchase, he may mean well, but he is digging his own pit because every month the things that he bought are losing value, but the interests he has to pay on the items still remain.

So learn to live within your means or below your means.

It is better to go to your bed without dinner and to get up in the morning feeling refreshed than to get up in debt. Keep away from debt regardless of how small. Debt is burdensome, as you know from experience.

You may call my number, 876-877-1009, so that I can do a counselling session with your wife and yourself virtually via video call on WhatsApp.

Pastor