My children don’t like my new lover

Dear Pastor,

I am living with a woman. She is 50 and I am 45. She was a friend of my wife’s, but my wife became ill and died. This woman continued to come to the house after the funeral.

She did everything for me, such as the cooking, the washing, and the cleaning of the house, until we started to sleep together.

I have two children, and they warned me about this woman. My daughter, who was at university at the time, told me she was not pleased because soon after her mother’s death, I was in another relationship, and her mother’s body was not even cold as yet.

I had to apologise to my daughter and tell her that it was not my intention to get involved with another woman so fast, but because I was alone, this woman used the opportunity to have her way with me.

I am going to tell you the truth, sir. I did not tell my daughter what I am telling you, but it only took five weeks after the death of my wife for this woman to get me to go to bed with her.

She would put on these short nighties, and everything was see-through. The first night when I saw her dressed like that, I turned my back and she rolled me over.

I could not resist her. That was the beginning of my sorrows. When my children are here with me, she behaves as if she is in total control of me and of their mother’s house. That is one reason why they do not like her.

My two children were here last December, and they told me they did not want her to be sleeping here while they are there. My son is a chef abroad, and he did the cooking and the baking. This woman was very upset with me.

My children told me that I could have her come for Christmas dinner, but she refused. I will not lie,

Pastor. I love her, and I can’t make her turn against me because of my children. She is the one who is taking care of all my needs.

She has her own place, but my children believe that she is after my house. She can’t get this house because I told her it is for my children.

I want to be in good graces with my children, and at the same time, I can’t allow my children to fight down this woman because she is everything to me. Kindly give me your advice.

M.H.

Dear M.H.

This woman was your wife’s close friend, and when your wife died, she did everything to help you. She also saw you as a mighty good catch. You became a widower. Your children were getting their education so they could not do much for you.

They probably thought that this woman would just be your helper who would clean, wash, and cook. The woman did all these things without complaining, but she wanted a man, and there you were.

Nobody was in her way, so she moved in on you. Were you sleeping? Perhaps you were. But she knew exactly what she was doing. Even her lingerie – she had special ones to wear for you. I know your children were upset with you, but they cannot remain upset forever. You are not an old man, and this woman is just five years older than you. She is vibrant and very sexy.

If you love her, your children will have to understand that although you did not plan for it to be so, it has happened. She has proven to be a mighty good companion for you.

So as I see it, they are going to have to accept her. You have mentioned in your letter that you love her, and I am sure she has told you a million times that she loves you, and you are the best thing to have happened to her since slice bread.

If you want to go further in this relationship, use common sense and deal with your children. I am sure they will come around.

Please, both of you should undergo some premarital counselling, and get advice from a lawyer before you make any further commitment to this woman.

Pastor.