Boyfriend banned from using back door

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old. I am writing you for your help. I tried to call you but I was not successful. I am having a problem.

I have a boyfriend who is also 19. We love each other very much, but I am still living at home. My boyfriend is also living at home. I visit him sometimes, but when I go to see him, his mother is always at home. Out of respect, I do not go into his room and lock the door. If I go into his room, we have the door open. It is only a few times we have been able to have sex when I go there. My boyfriend and I take the chance for him to come to my house.

One night we had everything planned. I stayed up. I had the kitchen door unlocked, so that my boyfriend could walk through the kitchen and come into my bedroom. I was hoping that I would not fall asleep, but I did. My boyfriend did not get to the house until midnight. My boyfriend lives just across the street, so he came over. But that night my father was still awake, and when my boyfriend entered the kitchen door, my father heard and came out of his room and called me. He came around and looked, he came to my room door and asked me if I heard someone come into the house and I told him no. He asked me if I had somebody in there with me, I told him no. My father did not go back to bed.

I did not know what to do. At one time I thought I heard my father snoring, but when I went to look he wasn’t sleeping. I went to the bathroom and while I was in there, my father opened my room door and saw my boyfriend on the bed. He asked him what he was doing in his house. My boyfriend did not know what to do. My father told him to get out and don’t ever come back to his house. Then he turned to me and said that if I want man, I must go find one, but don’t ‘tek’ man in his house.

My mother woke up and told my father to take it easy, because it is because of him why I have to hide and bring my man into the house. My father and I always got along well, but now he doesn’t talk to me much. My father and my boyfriend don’t talk much. My father is not the type of person who socialises very much.

My mother told me that I should beg my father pardon for sneaking in my boyfriend into his house.

Recently, my boyfriend and I talked to my father and begged him pardon. Surprisingly, my father said that he was not angry with my boyfriend, he was angry with me because I brought him into the house without permission. He then added, “Whenever you are coming back, young man, come through the front door, and not through the kitchen.”

L

Dear L

It was not smart of you to bring your boyfriend in the house in the first place at that time of the night. However, you did. You should have done a better job at keeping him hidden, given that you were taking such a risk. It is understandable that at your age you would feel that you needed a man in your life. Your boyfriend and you should have more respect for your parents.

Some parents don’t care what their teenage children do when it comes to the opposite sex. They can invite their lovers into their homes and even go into their rooms and close the doors. Others do not want their children to have visitors and to entertain them in their rooms.

Your parents have never been in favour of allowing you to bring any member of the opposite sex to the home, so for you to entertain that man in your room, you knew that you were taking a big risk. But you felt from time to time that you needed sex, so your boyfriend and you made a plan, which backfired.

Your father was not sleeping, and when your boyfriend came he heard him. Your father called out to you and asked if someone was with you, you said no. Your boyfriend had to become a statue in your room for a while, until you felt that you had to go in the bathroom.

While you were there your father started to peeped into your room and saw your boyfriend. That annoyed him, and he cursed you. That could’ve been avoided if you had handled this whole matter right.

At 19, you are old enough to have a male visitor, but your parents should not be kept in the dark. The only reason you kept your parents in the dark is because you wanted to engage in sex. `

I am glad that everything was amicably settled. Be careful of what you do. Continue to love your parents and to respect them. Thank your parents for giving permission to this young man to come to the house, but not through the kitchen door.

Pastor