Husband can’t satisfy me in the bedroom anymore

Dear Pastor,

I am 43 years old and I am having a problem. My husband is unable to ‘reach me’, and when I say reach me, I mean to satisfy me. It was not like that 15 years ago, when we got married.

Our sex life was satisfying and enjoyable. But this man has got so fat and whenever I talk to him about cutting back on his food, he asks me what is my problem, and accuses me of having another man. You should see the size of this man’s belly; it is so big now. Unless he takes me from the back, he cannot reach me at all.

I am so frustrated. Sometimes I just allow him to have his way, but I am not enjoying him. Whenever I feed him on vegetables and food that are good for him, he makes a big fuss.

My husband’s penis seems to have shrunk. I can’t discuss this with other women because I do not want to embarrass my husband and I don’t want anybody to laugh at him, because when it comes to caring and providing for me and the children, he is the best man in the world.

I don’t demand a lot from my husband. I told him that I will buy a sex toy, but he warned me not to bring it in the house. I told him I would use it when he is not around and he cursed me.

V.M.

Dear V.M.,

Let me begin by telling you that it is a fact that as a man gets older, he might observe a certain amount of shrinkage to his penis. This is not anything to be alarmed about, and it is true that if a man is overweight, he might not be able to do the things he used to do in the bedroom. It is stated that “the length of one’s penis can decrease by up to an inch or so, for various reasons. Usually, changes to penis size are smaller than an inch, however, and may be closer to 1/2 an inch or less. A slightly shorter penis won’t affect one’s ability to have an active and satisfying sex life.”

Research has shown that men can experience the shrinking of the penis and there are reasons for that. These reasons are ageing, obesity, prostate surgery and Peyronie’s disease (a curving of the penis).

Your husband and you have had a great relationship, but the way you speak to him may embarrass him because no man wants to know that he cannot satisfy his wife. I believe, however, that if one is willing to work with the other, your sex life can improve.

I would suggest that both of you make an appointment with a urologist and discuss this matter with them concerning your desire to buy a sex toy. Your husband might consider that as an insult, although it isn’t insulting. That is something that needs to be discussed with the doctor.

Pastor