Pregnant after a one-night stand

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for a long time and I always enjoy it every week. I am 24 years old and I am three months pregnant. I don’t know where to find the man who got me pregnant, but there is this guy who always liked me and has been talking to me. We did not have sex, so I know the child is not his. I told him from the very start that I suspected that I was pregnant, and he told me that he would stand by me. He started to give me money, and even my friends and parents believe that he is the one who got me pregnant. I have not made them any wiser. I just go along. He has a child already and I know the little girl. He told me that he and her mother are not having a relationship, but I do not know what to believe. He is always with me. We started having sex after I did my best to find the guy who got me pregnant. I cannot mention the name of the guy who got me pregnant to anyone because I only know him by his alias. This guy is insisting that I register the child in his name. I don’t know if that is the right thing to do.

I am always hoping that I would run into the guy who got me pregnant. We had sex in his car after I had gone to a ‘prom’, so it was a one-night stand. I didn’t know that I could get pregnant so easily. He told me that I would see him again, but I have never seen him again. What am I going to tell my child when he is born? I have gone by the place where I saw the man, I have not been fortunate to see him again. Please give me your advice.

T.A.

Dear T.A.,

I suggest that you register the child using your name. The man with whom you are having a relationship right now is not the biological father of the child that you are carrying. He means you well and you are thankful for his financial assistance, but I cannot

encourage you to register the child in his name. You may complicate matters if you should register the child in this man’s name and then you are able to find the biological father. So do not yield to any pressure at all from this man to register the child in his name.

Pastor