My wife wants a DIVORCE

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you about a problem. I am 38. I am married and have three children with my wife, but she is not in Jamaica. I used to think that we had a perfect marriage.

We didn’t quarrel or fight a lot. I was faithful to her. I supported her the best way I could. We had a joint account, so she knew what was in it. Pastor, we discussed how she should go to America to visit her sister and brother. She got the visa and off she went, leaving the children with me. I considered that she needed a break, so I did not object. The time came for her to return when she called and asked me for two more weeks. I told her that she should come home. She asked her sister to talk to me, and her sister convinced me that I should let her stay for another two weeks.

Pastor, I did not know that in that short period, my wife got involved with a man she knew in Jamaica and was going out with him and sleeping at his house. That is the main reason why she did not want to come home. The thought of leaving the man bothered her. Before the two weeks were up, she called me again and told me that Jamaica is too tough and she sees how well she will do in America and how she will be able to help her children and even me, if I agree to migrate in future. When she told me those words, I started to tremble because she and I have no issues at all and our sex life was good.

I asked her sister why she was encouraging her to leave me. She said that it was my wife’s choice, and all I should do is sign the divorce papers when she sends them. I don’t want a divorce, so I don’t believe that I should sign it. I write you for your advice. My heart is broken. I told my children what their mother is doing, and even the little one is trying to comfort me.

B.G.

Dear B.G.,

Be comforted by the thought that not all marriages work. Sometimes a couple seems to be doing so well and then you hear the shocking news that they are divorced or planning to be divorced. Now you say that you asked your wife’s sister why she is encouraging her to leave you. Perhaps she has a hand in it, so to speak, but if she did not want to divorce you, nothing she says could cause her to do so. Perhaps she likes what she sees in

America, and the man she goes out with is influencing her. Perhaps he can give her more than what you can give her. He can wine and dine her, but married life is much more than bedroom stuff. Whether or not you sign the documents when she sends them to you, will not hinder her from divorcing you. She can divorce you without you signing any paper. Don’t worry too much, you will get over it. And don’t punish yourself by saying that you will never get married again. There might be another good woman somewhere who would love to have a good man. You are not an old man, and even old men often find that they need someone to take care of them. In the meantime, take good care of your children. They understand that you are a good dad. I wish you well.

Pastor