GIRLFRIEND FORCES ME TO GIVE HER ORAL SEX ...

Dear Pastor,

Pastor, I am 29 and I am in love with a woman who is 27. I met her when she was pregnant and after beginning to talk to her, I realised that she did not even know who got her pregnant. She said she had sex with two different men and she did not even know the name of one of them. The other guy is a married man. Pastor, I felt sorry for her and we got together.

I started to give her money because the married man wasn’t giving her anything. In fact, when she told him she thought he got her pregnant, he cursed her out. She didn’t know where to find the other guy, so I took over and people thought that the child was mine. When we started our relationship, she was four months pregnant so it was not my child. I never told my family what the woman told me. They thought she was carrying my baby. She was working but she left the job after we became friends. I was living in a one-bedroom place, a little board house.

She moved in with me and by the time she had the baby, I had rented a better place. My father loaned me some money and

I fixed up the place.

Pastor, this woman is causing me to think and I can see why she got herself into trouble. She loves oral sex. It was something I never did before I met her. Now, everytime we make love she wants me to do that to her and I really don’t like it.

She tells me that something is wrong with me. She is working again. When I met this woman, I was a Christian and I heard in church that Christians shouldn’t engage in oral sex and that the mouth was not made to do that, because the mouth was made to eat food. I would love to get married but I told her that we have to stop having oral sex. Sometimes she forces me into doing it and I do it just to please her. So both of us decided that we would write to you to hear what you have to say about it. Everytime we have sex I use the condom because I don’t want to get her pregnant. D.M.

Dear D.M.,

This woman should consider herself fortunate that she met you and you were quite willing to take on the responsibility for her pregnancy, so to speak. She is evidently not a wise woman. In fact, she can be described as a very careless woman. She does not even know one of the men with whom she went to bed and the other man is married. He considers her trash, so he did not want anything to do with her anymore. You felt sorry for her and supported her. The type of intimacy she enjoys is not something you believe that you should engage in. Evidently, this woman has been practising to have oral sex with a lot of different men and I believe that if you do not continue to engage in that form of intimacy with her, she will cheat on you because that is what she likes to receive. I hope that when she reads my response she will understand why I am telling you to end this relationship with her as soon as you can. Don’t continue to allow this woman to make you into a fool. This is not the type of woman who you should have as a wife. Help her to set up a place of her own. Move on my dear sir, move on, and I wish you well. Pastor